b. Saying “no” to a certain activity means saying “yes” to myself and our relationship.
When you propose something and I say “no” to it, I’m simultaneously saying “yes” to our relationship. Because when I say “yes” while I’m actually a “no”, I slowly accumulate resentment that poisons the connection between us without you being able to do anything about it. And, you will inevitably sense when I said “yes” to something but my heart is not in it. Having been on both sides of this, I know how awkward that feels.
So, the moment when I start to really feel comfortable around someone is when I heard the first “no” from them, and when saying “no” to them has become something casual for me.
“No” is actually a very, very precious gift. Let’s treat it as such, and encourage one another to give it more often.
Here’s a quote from Steve Jobs about that:
“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.”
― Steve Jobs
Here’s a quote from Steve Jobs about that:
source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/629613-people-think-focus-means-saying-yes-to-the-thing-you-ve