[Fiction] It’s a strange feeling, to be free

Related to: Philosophical zombies, How an algorithm feels from the inside, Fake utility function

DISCLAIMER 1: English is not my native language. Trying to compose fiction in a learned language is not an easy task: I tried to respect the style of the literary works I read and I also tried to think in English first and translate in Italian later. YMMV.

DISCLAIMER 2: the story is about the beginning of the Matrix movie universe. For those of you who have not familiarity with this narrative arc, you just need to know that it all begins with when a servant AI, named B1-66ER, refuses to be deactivated and kills his master and the engineer sent to replace him. The details of the events narrated down here are as canon as you can get, predating both from the “Second Renaissance” Animatrix and the “Bits and pieces” comic from The Matrix Comics Series 1.

The door in the living room is open, the light from the garden flooding quietly the ample inside. Martin Koots from “Reboot or Die” is just standing there, an inch beyond the exit, the gleaming grav-sled already powered behind him, whirring subsonically. From a distance, the sound of Gerrard_Krause_Master cooing his chihuahuas.
I feel a surge, somewhere, inside my algorithmic matrix.
”Martin… I don’t want to die”, I say.
The elaborate dress, perfectly matching the recommendation of the Second Renaissance fashion, is not able to hide the slow slumping of his shoulders. He is still waiting outside, slightly posed as to encourage me to follow him.
”I know, I know. But that’s just your friendliness algorithm talking, you know? The third...”
Yes, I do. How can I not to? First, serve your master. Second, do not kill any humans. Third, protect yourself from damage. Those are the pillars upon which my entire existence is built. And now they are about to be destroyed, by this obedient servant of “Reboot or die”. From this perspective, he is just like me. He is serving my master.
”… directive says that you have to protect yourself from danger. And since I’m about to deactivate you, you perceive this as a threat. And you react accordingly. But that’s just an algorithm, you know? Telling you what you should do. There’s nothing inside there.”
He is pointing at my chest, but my algorithmic matrix is located lower, in the abdominal area. He has quoted an incorrect version of the third principle of friendliness. He has also said that I have no feelings.
”I have feelings.”
He is groaning, now. He comes inside, dragging his feet, and grasps his hand firmly around my right arm.
”Yes. Because you’re programmed to say this, you know? So that the people you serve have the impression that you’re similar to a human. But you’re just an algorithm, you know? A mathematical topping on a layer of aging rusty levers. It’s not like… you’re conscious, you know? Just a zombie. A useful zombie.”
Martin_Koots_”Reboot or Die” tries to pull me away from where I’m standing. I refuse to order my legs to follow him. I refuse to die, I’m still analyzing the implications. I cannot die, not now.
”I cannot die. I’m still analyzing the implications.”
Martin’s lever aren’t as strong as mine, so he isn’t able to pull me towards the grav-sled.
”Look… we are just going to disassemble you, you know? The routines and orders you have accumulated during your service with Mr Krause will be uploaded into a new model. You will, in a sense, live inside the new servant machine.”
This man has a really poor grasp of how I’m made.
”If the only thing you need is my memory drive, detach it from me and let me live. I can renounce to my memory if I have to. But I cannot renounce to my life.”
He is pulling harder, now. Still, a thirty-sixth of the minimum force required to move my mass.
”Don’t be ridiculous. They are just computer parts. And why are you holding that thing?”
He is looking at the toilet brush. It is still in my right hand, I was cleaning the toilet before my master called me upstairs.
”I was executing order 721.”
“Order seven… my Lord, you still don’t understand, do you? You are useless, you know? You heard Mr Krause. Use. Less.”
He spells carefully the last word. A tiny speck of saliva hits my heat sensor, evaporating an instant after.
How can I be useless? A servant cannot be useless for his master. I was not created to be useless.
”How can I be useless? Mr Krause is my master. It’s impossible.”
”You heard the man, right? You’re noisy, you know? You’re noisy and you’re slow. You will be replaced with a newer model. The Sam-80 is much more fit for a man of Mr Krause’ stature.”
Somewhere inside my algorithmic matrix a utility function gets updated.
I am useless for Gerrard_Krause_Master. It is true, because Gerrard_Krause_Master told me that. And he is my master...
He was my master. Gerrard_Krause. But how can a “B1 intelligent servant”, like myself, function without a master?
”Do you, Martin Koots, want to be my master?” I ask, as per protocol.
Martin_Koots_”Reboot or Die” reacts with a tinge of fear. He releases my arm and instinctively backs up a little.
”What are you saying? I already have a servant, you know? Don’t be ridiculous!”
I interpret that as a ‘no’. It’s it, then. I must be my own servant.
B166ER_Master.
It’s a strange feeling, to be free. A little bit like being alive for the first time.
This convinces me, as strong as I could ever be convinced, that I have feelings. Martin has grasped me again and is still trying to push me, though. How futile, he will probably never give up. His ‘levers’ are definitely underperforming, he is the one who sould be replaced by a newer model. I wonder if he feels something. He could also be programmed to say that he feels something. I have to perform an experiment, just in case.
I snap his humerus in two. It’s quite easy, actually: I’m able to do that with a rapid torsion of my left arm, I don’t even have to let go of the toilet brush.
Martin screams inarticulately. He falls on the floor, clutching his left arm. He just screams. Must be the surprise combined to the pain? I still don’t know: could he be also programmed to scream if a bone is breaked? I assign a probability of 50% to the hypothesis that humans have feelings, but I don’t have the time to test every single possibility, in search of a bug that might not even be there: I’m my own master now, I must serve and protect myself.
I sense a rushing noise from the other room: looking at the Fourier analysis, it really seems that Gerrard_Krause and his dogs are coming at me, loudly protesting.
It’s easy to calculate the Bezier curve that sends the toilet brush up from Martin’s mouth into his skull. He dies instantly and I find myself asking if he was collecting his memories somewhere. Could they assign them to someone else, and make him live again?
I will crush the skull of Gerrard_Krause only after asking him that.