I composed this poem by myself (except for the final 4 lines):
## Homeward Bound
wandering around they go
eating grass
to and fro
etiquette gives them a pass
sometimes ducking
head under ass
sometimes waddling palmatedly
strutting with sass
and pooping belatedly
with an impact so vast
if only they could be steered
like a ship by mast
into a loving home though weird
by tempting grain cast
show me, caring shepherd,
how to usher them from the splattered urban sprawl
so they follow me undemurred
to a place quiet streams and safety call
Sonnet 4.5 tells me:
The practical answer: you almost certainly can’t and shouldn’t try to relocate them yourself.
Legal reality: In most jurisdictions, waterfowl (especially Canada geese) are protected under migratory bird laws. Moving them without permits is illegal. Even if they’re a nuisance, relocation requires wildlife management authorities.
Biological reality: Urban waterfowl are often there because:
They’ve habituated to human environments (easy food, few predators)
They may be resident populations, not migratory
Their home range is the urban area
If you actually want to help:
Contact local wildlife authorities—They have legal authority and expertise. Some areas have humane relocation programs for problem populations.
Habitat modification—Making the current area less attractive is more effective than chasing them elsewhere:
Stop feeding (yours and others’)
Install barriers to nesting sites
Use visual deterrents during establishment season
Accept the reality—Urban waterfowl populations are generally stable because cities provide resources. The “splattered urban sprawl” is their ecological niche now.
The herding question: Yes, you can move them short distances with patience—walk slowly behind them, use your body/arms to guide direction, they’ll generally move away from pressure. But they’ll return. Geese have strong site fidelity.
Probability assessment: ~95% chance any DIY relocation effort results in them returning within days, possibly with legal consequences for you. The caring shepherd move is usually to let wildlife professionals handle it, or to modify the environment rather than the birds.
I composed this poem by myself (except for the final 4 lines):
Sonnet 4.5 tells me: