i think people who (think they) are frequently misinterpreted are more likely to be sympathetic to not technically lying. I have had to go out of my way quite a lot to stop myself accidentally not technically lying to people, some of whom would, when I explained what I meant, not believe me. This at first caused me to take the attitude: “LISTEN TO THE WORDS IM SAYING, YOUR HEURISTICS OBVIOUSLY AREN’T WORKING.” Now that I know, to some extent, how people will misinterpret me, I don’t feel at all guilty about talking as I naturally do, in a manner I expect to be misinterpreted, and actually ok going out of my way to not technically lie. Some of the motivation for Going out of my way to NTL lie is, knowing I’m going to “NTL” (from someone’s perspective) despite my best efforts, trying to condition people to LISTEN TO THE WORDS I’M SAYING WITH MY MOUTH, rather than what they hear, part vindictiveness (they deserve it if their listening heuristics are on too low and their social ones are on too high), and part discomfort with saying things which are false.
I dunno, I hear this sort of thing sometimes, and if others are using heuristics that presumably work when communicating with other people, maybe you’re the one that’s missing something!
this comment really confused me but I think I have figured out why. Did you take me to, by “heuristic,” be referring to more than information interpretation shortcuts? I’m not talking about “they said X, so say Y” or anything that is a heuristic for action, or responses that people have learnt which “work.” I’m specifically complaining about when heuristics for determining what X said repeatedly elicit “no that’s not what I meant” or similiar as a response, and people don’t even try turning off the heuristic, looking at the words, and applying dictionary definitions or even asking what people mean by the words, if they are used idiosyncratically. I realise there is a small crossover where someone’s heuristic for action may be to deliberately misunderstand me, or pretend to but this is kind of out there so I assume that isn’t what you mean I’m missing.
Is my diagnosis correct?
I assumed it would be clear from context I was using heuristic this way but socially I don’t explicity use “action heuristics” often (or maybe just saliently) enough for that interpretation to occur to me so that’s some lacking awareness on my part if I’m correct as to what happened here.
No, I understood that, what I meant was if you’re having trouble communicating, and repeatedly saying X but transmitting the wrong meaning, you might also be using incorrect heuristics to determine what to say to convey a particular concept.
Of course this is just a possibility, and depends on what sort of person you’re talking to! It sounds like you’re talking about relatively unreflective people, in which case most of the blame for miscommunication can safely be assigned to them. It’s just that this is a problem nerds sometimes run in to.
i think people who (think they) are frequently misinterpreted are more likely to be sympathetic to not technically lying. I have had to go out of my way quite a lot to stop myself accidentally not technically lying to people, some of whom would, when I explained what I meant, not believe me. This at first caused me to take the attitude: “LISTEN TO THE WORDS IM SAYING, YOUR HEURISTICS OBVIOUSLY AREN’T WORKING.” Now that I know, to some extent, how people will misinterpret me, I don’t feel at all guilty about talking as I naturally do, in a manner I expect to be misinterpreted, and actually ok going out of my way to not technically lie. Some of the motivation for Going out of my way to NTL lie is, knowing I’m going to “NTL” (from someone’s perspective) despite my best efforts, trying to condition people to LISTEN TO THE WORDS I’M SAYING WITH MY MOUTH, rather than what they hear, part vindictiveness (they deserve it if their listening heuristics are on too low and their social ones are on too high), and part discomfort with saying things which are false.
I dunno, I hear this sort of thing sometimes, and if others are using heuristics that presumably work when communicating with other people, maybe you’re the one that’s missing something!
this comment really confused me but I think I have figured out why. Did you take me to, by “heuristic,” be referring to more than information interpretation shortcuts? I’m not talking about “they said X, so say Y” or anything that is a heuristic for action, or responses that people have learnt which “work.” I’m specifically complaining about when heuristics for determining what X said repeatedly elicit “no that’s not what I meant” or similiar as a response, and people don’t even try turning off the heuristic, looking at the words, and applying dictionary definitions or even asking what people mean by the words, if they are used idiosyncratically. I realise there is a small crossover where someone’s heuristic for action may be to deliberately misunderstand me, or pretend to but this is kind of out there so I assume that isn’t what you mean I’m missing.
Is my diagnosis correct?
I assumed it would be clear from context I was using heuristic this way but socially I don’t explicity use “action heuristics” often (or maybe just saliently) enough for that interpretation to occur to me so that’s some lacking awareness on my part if I’m correct as to what happened here.
No, I understood that, what I meant was if you’re having trouble communicating, and repeatedly saying X but transmitting the wrong meaning, you might also be using incorrect heuristics to determine what to say to convey a particular concept.
Of course this is just a possibility, and depends on what sort of person you’re talking to! It sounds like you’re talking about relatively unreflective people, in which case most of the blame for miscommunication can safely be assigned to them. It’s just that this is a problem nerds sometimes run in to.