As a female, who is dating a man who is rationalist, I don’t necessarily think that Science plays a large role in how well we work together. I think that the fact I know his decision making processes are based on rationalism, and I am willing to understand why he has made decisions (even if I would not have made them using that logic) does ensure that we resolve things easily, or that I accept them. Essentially, I think that if you are a rationalist man then you need to date a woman who is willing to understand this part of you, and make some effort not to take decisions made on a rationalist basis as markers of you not caring about her or not having any emotional involvement (though emotion doesn’t often factor in decisions). Once I fully understand the method behind a decision that he makes I can come to terms with it, or challenge it, but without understanding why he has handled a situation I am left flummoxed and confused. I am often told by mutual friends that they are amazed at how well I am able to handle his behaviour, because to other people he seems quite unpredictable or irrational, whereas I have come to understand that actually he is almost always making rational decisions and I therefore don’t see them as a surprise (or get upset or offended by them).
It is perhaps, in reality, a level of open-mindedness which is required in a relationship between a rationalist and non-rationalist, but I think you also need someone who thinks about situations before acting. I can be quite impulsive and often make snap decisions or judgements, but dating a rationalist has taught me to stop and consider whether a situation is actually how I immediately perceive it to be or not. I don’t think I am (or ever will be) a rationalist, I think I am aware of rationalism and can understand why someone else has used it to make decisions. Being willing to think, discuss and consider alternative views or paths (a marker in many ways of general intelligence), is the real reason why I can date a rationalist, but many of my female friends never could.
I would add, however, that this is not an easy thing to achieve and it has taken a long time for me to build up this level of understanding and tolerance. Knowing that when you are upset or emotional about something and will be faced with cold rationalism as a resolution, is sometimes very difficult to handle (though I’m sure facing irrational emotion from me is equally difficult for him and he has had to learn what my decision making processes are, though they are much more illogical). I have had to accept that I cannot win arguments simply by drawing on emotional responses (as I have done very successfully for my whole life), but that I must use hard evidence and logic. This has been a difficult task, and one I continue to work on, but I have always found it intellectually stimulating. The fact that I am dating someone who challenges me, and requires me to think, is fundamentally why I enjoy his company and will find it very hard to date someone who is not a rationalist in future.
As a female, who is dating a man who is rationalist, I don’t necessarily think that Science plays a large role in how well we work together. I think that the fact I know his decision making processes are based on rationalism, and I am willing to understand why he has made decisions (even if I would not have made them using that logic) does ensure that we resolve things easily, or that I accept them. Essentially, I think that if you are a rationalist man then you need to date a woman who is willing to understand this part of you, and make some effort not to take decisions made on a rationalist basis as markers of you not caring about her or not having any emotional involvement (though emotion doesn’t often factor in decisions). Once I fully understand the method behind a decision that he makes I can come to terms with it, or challenge it, but without understanding why he has handled a situation I am left flummoxed and confused. I am often told by mutual friends that they are amazed at how well I am able to handle his behaviour, because to other people he seems quite unpredictable or irrational, whereas I have come to understand that actually he is almost always making rational decisions and I therefore don’t see them as a surprise (or get upset or offended by them). It is perhaps, in reality, a level of open-mindedness which is required in a relationship between a rationalist and non-rationalist, but I think you also need someone who thinks about situations before acting. I can be quite impulsive and often make snap decisions or judgements, but dating a rationalist has taught me to stop and consider whether a situation is actually how I immediately perceive it to be or not. I don’t think I am (or ever will be) a rationalist, I think I am aware of rationalism and can understand why someone else has used it to make decisions. Being willing to think, discuss and consider alternative views or paths (a marker in many ways of general intelligence), is the real reason why I can date a rationalist, but many of my female friends never could. I would add, however, that this is not an easy thing to achieve and it has taken a long time for me to build up this level of understanding and tolerance. Knowing that when you are upset or emotional about something and will be faced with cold rationalism as a resolution, is sometimes very difficult to handle (though I’m sure facing irrational emotion from me is equally difficult for him and he has had to learn what my decision making processes are, though they are much more illogical). I have had to accept that I cannot win arguments simply by drawing on emotional responses (as I have done very successfully for my whole life), but that I must use hard evidence and logic. This has been a difficult task, and one I continue to work on, but I have always found it intellectually stimulating. The fact that I am dating someone who challenges me, and requires me to think, is fundamentally why I enjoy his company and will find it very hard to date someone who is not a rationalist in future.