I think the solution is to become more emotionally integrated. take the time to understand your emotional mind and the reasons behind why it believes the things it does. some say therapy helps with this; your mileage may vary. I’ve found introspection + living life more fully helps a lot.
Thank you. I think, even upon identifying the reasons for why the emotional mind believes the things it does, I hit a twofold sticking point:
I consider the constraints themselves (rarely in isolation but more like the personality milieu that they are enmeshed with) to be part of my identity, and attempting to break them is scary in both a deep existential loss of self sense, and in a “this may well be load bearing in ways I can’t fully think through” sense
Even orthogonal to the first bullet, it’s somehow hard to change them even though with my analytical mind I can see what’s going on. It’s almost like the emotional Bayesian updating has brought these beliefs / tendencies to a very sharp peak long ago, but now circumstances have changed but the peak is too sharp to belief it away with new experience.
If it sounds like I’m trying to find reasons to not make the change, perhaps that’s another symptom of the problem. There’s a saboteur in the machine!
I think the solution is to become more emotionally integrated. take the time to understand your emotional mind and the reasons behind why it believes the things it does. some say therapy helps with this; your mileage may vary. I’ve found introspection + living life more fully helps a lot.
Thank you. I think, even upon identifying the reasons for why the emotional mind believes the things it does, I hit a twofold sticking point:
I consider the constraints themselves (rarely in isolation but more like the personality milieu that they are enmeshed with) to be part of my identity, and attempting to break them is scary in both a deep existential loss of self sense, and in a “this may well be load bearing in ways I can’t fully think through” sense
Even orthogonal to the first bullet, it’s somehow hard to change them even though with my analytical mind I can see what’s going on. It’s almost like the emotional Bayesian updating has brought these beliefs / tendencies to a very sharp peak long ago, but now circumstances have changed but the peak is too sharp to belief it away with new experience.
If it sounds like I’m trying to find reasons to not make the change, perhaps that’s another symptom of the problem. There’s a saboteur in the machine!