Right, so it sounds like you do value engagement over doing nothing. That’s certainly a good start.
Basically, I think it should be possible for you to find some better (as in: likely to help you change your terminal value) goals that you actually want to do, without necessarily having to introspect about your desire to kill yourself. Of course, I could well be generalising from one example.
There is one specific thing that I’ve noticed about games, though: even a bad game >gets a lot more interesting when I have some work to avoid. It’s often exciting for >me to have something that I should be doing but don’t want to, and then not do it. (I >noticed this phenomenon when I was in college; it hasn’t seemed to apply very >much since then.)
Oh boy do I know that feeling. The corollary being that after I finally got the work done or sat the exam or whatever I suddenly realised that I’d wasted 20+ hours on some piece of dreck :)
Right, so it sounds like you do value engagement over doing nothing. That’s certainly a good start.
Basically, I think it should be possible for you to find some better (as in: likely to help you change your terminal value) goals that you actually want to do, without necessarily having to introspect about your desire to kill yourself. Of course, I could well be generalising from one example.
Oh boy do I know that feeling. The corollary being that after I finally got the work done or sat the exam or whatever I suddenly realised that I’d wasted 20+ hours on some piece of dreck :)