I can (a) present my recollections and try to collaborate to find an agreement; (b) just nod and accept X as the agreed-upon finding; (c) insist that !X, using all the art of persuasion I possess; I will choose the course of action which I believe will lead to a better marital life (this includes long-term consequences and personal stress as factors). [Sidenote: I do have a preference for relationships in which (a) tends to be the best choice]
In any of these cases, I keep track of my own estimate of P(X), adjusting it as appropriate during and after the exchange, on the evidence provided by the spouse’s testimony and behaviour.
You are confusing “being right” with “being believed to be right”. Making the right calculations is always the correct course of action (tautology), but that doesn’t imply that you should necessarily say them.
I can (a) present my recollections and try to collaborate to find an agreement; (b) just nod and accept X as the agreed-upon finding; (c) insist that !X, using all the art of persuasion I possess;
None of these things allow the possibility of not arguing while also not conceding.
I agree that in many cases we don’t need to agree upon a finding at all, and in those cases I can accept X as one of several positions on an unresolved question. I consider that a special case of (b), but I can see believing otherwise.
It obviously depends on whether the expected utility of both people having the correct answer exceeds the disutility of spending the time and energy (physical and emotional) to locate/confirm it.
One way to view scope neglect is behaving deontologically instead of consequentially- “I will help birds” vs. “2000 birds will be helped.” In this context, I bring it up because the behavior “focusing on being right above all else” is a deontological rule, which is unlikely to maximize your preferences.
The answer is, unless X is important enough to divorce them over, drop the issue or change your mind. The rule to focus on being right above all else is far too strong to be good advice.
Your spouse insists X. You remember !X. What is the rational course of action?
(Hint: it does not involve scope neglect.)
I can (a) present my recollections and try to collaborate to find an agreement; (b) just nod and accept X as the agreed-upon finding; (c) insist that !X, using all the art of persuasion I possess; I will choose the course of action which I believe will lead to a better marital life (this includes long-term consequences and personal stress as factors). [Sidenote: I do have a preference for relationships in which (a) tends to be the best choice]
In any of these cases, I keep track of my own estimate of P(X), adjusting it as appropriate during and after the exchange, on the evidence provided by the spouse’s testimony and behaviour.
You are confusing “being right” with “being believed to be right”. Making the right calculations is always the correct course of action (tautology), but that doesn’t imply that you should necessarily say them.
None of these things allow the possibility of not arguing while also not conceding.
I agree that in many cases we don’t need to agree upon a finding at all, and in those cases I can accept X as one of several positions on an unresolved question. I consider that a special case of (b), but I can see believing otherwise.
It obviously depends on whether the expected utility of both people having the correct answer exceeds the disutility of spending the time and energy (physical and emotional) to locate/confirm it.
If X matters, look for further evidence beyond your and your spouse’s recollections, at least one of which is known to be wrong, but not which.
Um, what point were you making?
It depends on my preferences.
Also, what does scope neglect have to do with this?
One way to view scope neglect is behaving deontologically instead of consequentially- “I will help birds” vs. “2000 birds will be helped.” In this context, I bring it up because the behavior “focusing on being right above all else” is a deontological rule, which is unlikely to maximize your preferences.
The answer is, unless X is important enough to divorce them over, drop the issue or change your mind. The rule to focus on being right above all else is far too strong to be good advice.
You’re confusing “being right” with “being believed to be right”.