I really like this analogy. I use a few mental stances in my practice.
- “Be hurt, not angry” — I use this when I’m getting upset. Often when I am angry, it’s because I’ve been hurt, and anger isn’t as useful as vulnerability and curiosity. Anger is sometimes useful, but this helps me take a beat to decide if this is one of those cases. - “Later is a lie” — Not only am I prone to procrastination, but I’m also terrible to doing or thinking something at a later time. This stance helps me take a step back from whatever I am doing and either do the thing right now, or create some external system to remind me of whatever the task is. - “First, be kind” — This is a stance I use when I’m about to have a difficult conversation with someone. It’s a reminder the truth isn’t an excuse to cause harm. It helps me take a moment to engage my empathy and assumptions of good intentions. - “Being weird doesn’t make it weird” — This is something I picked up just this past weekend, but I’m going to use it when I’m feeling socially anxious. It’s a reminder that while I may be considered weird by a lot of people, that doesn’t mean they won’t like me; they may even like me because I’m weird. - “This is a problem that can be solved by patience” — This gets the most use while driving and I’m stuck behind someone driving really slowly. I also use it any time I’m feeling impatient and frustrated. It’s served me well as a father.
I’ve just thought of them as little catch-phrases, but mental stance is a much better way of describing them. Thank you.
I really like this analogy. I use a few mental stances in my practice.
- “Be hurt, not angry” — I use this when I’m getting upset. Often when I am angry, it’s because I’ve been hurt, and anger isn’t as useful as vulnerability and curiosity. Anger is sometimes useful, but this helps me take a beat to decide if this is one of those cases.
- “Later is a lie” — Not only am I prone to procrastination, but I’m also terrible to doing or thinking something at a later time. This stance helps me take a step back from whatever I am doing and either do the thing right now, or create some external system to remind me of whatever the task is.
- “First, be kind” — This is a stance I use when I’m about to have a difficult conversation with someone. It’s a reminder the truth isn’t an excuse to cause harm. It helps me take a moment to engage my empathy and assumptions of good intentions.
- “Being weird doesn’t make it weird” — This is something I picked up just this past weekend, but I’m going to use it when I’m feeling socially anxious. It’s a reminder that while I may be considered weird by a lot of people, that doesn’t mean they won’t like me; they may even like me because I’m weird.
- “This is a problem that can be solved by patience” — This gets the most use while driving and I’m stuck behind someone driving really slowly. I also use it any time I’m feeling impatient and frustrated. It’s served me well as a father.
I’ve just thought of them as little catch-phrases, but mental stance is a much better way of describing them. Thank you.
You’re welcome! Thank you for your contributions, “this is a problem that can be solved by patience” in particular feels good and useful to me.