One common theme is recognizing when your theories aren’t working and updating in light of new evidence. Many people are so sure that their beliefs about what ‘should’ work when it comes to dating are correct that they will keep trying and failing without ever considering that maybe their underlying theory is wrong. A common exercise used in the community to break out of these incorrect beliefs is to force yourself to go out and try things that ‘can’t possibly work’ 10 times in a day, and then every day for a week or a month, until the false belief is banished.
I actually think the LW crowd could learn something from this approach—sometimes all the argument in the world is not as convincing as repeated confrontations with real world results. When it comes to changing behaviour (a key aspect of allowing rationality to improve results in our lives), rational argument is not usually the most effective technique. Rational argument may establish the need for change and the pattern for new behaviour but the most effective way to change behavioural habits is to just start consciously doing the new behaviour until it becomes a habit.
One common theme is recognizing when your theories aren’t working and updating in light of new evidence. Many people are so sure that their beliefs about what ‘should’ work when it comes to dating are correct that they will keep trying and failing without ever considering that maybe their underlying theory is wrong. A common exercise used in the community to break out of these incorrect beliefs is to force yourself to go out and try things that ‘can’t possibly work’ 10 times in a day, and then every day for a week or a month, until the false belief is banished.
I actually think the LW crowd could learn something from this approach—sometimes all the argument in the world is not as convincing as repeated confrontations with real world results. When it comes to changing behaviour (a key aspect of allowing rationality to improve results in our lives), rational argument is not usually the most effective technique. Rational argument may establish the need for change and the pattern for new behaviour but the most effective way to change behavioural habits is to just start consciously doing the new behaviour until it becomes a habit.