People should really clarify what ages they’re talking about when they argue about childhood independence and whether parents are too controlling. 15-year-olds are much more similar psychologically and biologically to adults than to children, and yet legally and culturally they’re considered children, with a range of restrictions on their behavior that would seem unthinkable if applied to 30-year-olds. This, in my view, is madness.
I think it’s clearly reasonable to liberate teenagers and give them adult-like freedoms (freedom to drop out of school, work, own property, etc.). But I don’t think that means we should necessarily let 5-year-olds control their medical decisions or even their bedtimes.
Agreed. Also good parents can tell reasonably well when their kids are mature enough to have freedoms, like for some it might be closer to 11, for others closer to 15.
My thought process is “would my kid endorse me having restricted their freedom in this way when they reflect on it as an adult”. I’d make a best-effort prediction of this based on the kid’s personality and qualities.
People should really clarify what ages they’re talking about when they argue about childhood independence and whether parents are too controlling. 15-year-olds are much more similar psychologically and biologically to adults than to children, and yet legally and culturally they’re considered children, with a range of restrictions on their behavior that would seem unthinkable if applied to 30-year-olds. This, in my view, is madness.
I think it’s clearly reasonable to liberate teenagers and give them adult-like freedoms (freedom to drop out of school, work, own property, etc.). But I don’t think that means we should necessarily let 5-year-olds control their medical decisions or even their bedtimes.
Agreed. Also good parents can tell reasonably well when their kids are mature enough to have freedoms, like for some it might be closer to 11, for others closer to 15.
My thought process is “would my kid endorse me having restricted their freedom in this way when they reflect on it as an adult”. I’d make a best-effort prediction of this based on the kid’s personality and qualities.
Agreed, I think I should have clarified that I’m only talking about younger kids, and I expect this to change as they grow older.