I’ve fallen off the wagon. This is the most depressed I’ve been in a while.
I can’t work. I can’t grind. I can hardly function. I can’t even get out of this chair. I can’t feel my head. My heart feels tight. My left arm feels weak. I haven’t been this depressed in a while.
I am not any of these things. I am just experiencing the world.
Heaviness on the body. Time drags just a bit. White-noise drags just a bit. Doesn’t being sleepy feel really comfortable? Waves of it through the body. I can’t get much of anything done anymore. I’m collapsing and failing. scratch that.
This is what the mind is saying. What ever happened to those feelings of flow? I’m going cold.
Just a little bit more. I’m telling myself a story that I’m sad. I don’t know where to begin.
Everyone tells me I talk to generally. Let’s be specific. I want status. I want followers. I want respect. Sometimes I want to help the world. But here I am, a bum. Prestigious college and no idea what to do. Technical skills God knows where, but can’t communicate. *communication is lacking, see I’m being positive. How can I accept average? Looking at others pains me so much. But if I meditate on that feeling, I’ll accept and understand it better.
I’ve fallen off the wagon. This is the most depressed I’ve been in a while.
I can’t work. I can’t grind. I can hardly function. I can’t even get out of this chair. I can’t feel my head. My heart feels tight. My left arm feels weak. I haven’t been this depressed in a while.
I am not any of these things. I am just experiencing the world.
Heaviness on the body. Time drags just a bit. White-noise drags just a bit. Doesn’t being sleepy feel really comfortable? Waves of it through the body. I can’t get much of anything done anymore. I’m collapsing and failing. scratch that.
This is what the mind is saying. What ever happened to those feelings of flow? I’m going cold.
Just a little bit more. I’m telling myself a story that I’m sad. I don’t know where to begin.
Everyone tells me I talk to generally. Let’s be specific. I want status. I want followers. I want respect. Sometimes I want to help the world. But here I am, a bum. Prestigious college and no idea what to do. Technical skills God knows where, but can’t communicate. *communication is lacking, see I’m being positive. How can I accept average? Looking at others pains me so much. But if I meditate on that feeling, I’ll accept and understand it better.