I think that the vulnerability thing is picking up The Thing by the wrong handle. The point is not to drop one’s shield, but to be able to do so in the certainty that the other person isn’t going to stab you. But no, that’s another wrong handle. The common knowledge of the absence of shielding and stabbing still misses the point. It’s like defining sight as not being blind.
I think that this grabbed The Thing by the right handle:
Something like a cross between sibling and best friend? Reliably available and excited to spend time with, go on adventures/experiences with, report on adventures/experiences to, share and keep secrets, socially back-up and support, a more or less ever present cognitive circuit that’s looking out for the other...
This Thing isn’t all-or-nothing. It scales up and down, and at the upper reaches it can bring in the romantic and sexual aspects of A Relationship and lifelong partnership.
why aren’t a-intimates a thing?
Hello? But it’s not something I have reason to talk about, unless someone happens to ask that question. So what I’ve said above is based only on seeing The Thing all around me, and hearing and reading about The Thing[1], not on actual contact with The Thing.
I think that the vulnerability thing is picking up The Thing by the wrong handle. The point is not to drop one’s shield, but to be able to do so in the certainty that the other person isn’t going to stab you. But no, that’s another wrong handle. The common knowledge of the absence of shielding and stabbing still misses the point. It’s like defining sight as not being blind.
I think that this grabbed The Thing by the right handle:
This Thing isn’t all-or-nothing. It scales up and down, and at the upper reaches it can bring in the romantic and sexual aspects of A Relationship and lifelong partnership.
Hello? But it’s not something I have reason to talk about, unless someone happens to ask that question. So what I’ve said above is based only on seeing The Thing all around me, and hearing and reading about The Thing[1], not on actual contact with The Thing.
A recurring topic on The Marginalian, a blog I’d recommend to everyone to at least check out.