Trivial copy-editing suggestions, in order of appearance:
Semicolon rather than comma before “see if you can spot it”, if you don’t mind trading a bit of informality for a bit of correctness.
“The vast majority of customers” or “The vast majority of their customers” or “The vast majority of drivers” or something, rather than “The vast majority of the customers”.
In that sentence, you have a “vast majority” and then a “large majority”, and it feels a bit clumsy. Maybe just “most” instead of “the large majority”?
Perhaps replace “in actuality” with “really”.
Surely “estimated likelihood of happiness” is wrong; you’re evaluating something more like expected happiness (though of course you shouldn’t say that either)
“We then multiplied both of these numbers by each other” feels clunky. “We multiplied the usage and value figures to give a total rating”? (My mathematical-pedant brain objects to “total” which is additive rather than multiplicative. “Overall”?)
Perhaps replace “most optimal” with “best”.
It appears that you rated the two backyard views the same, which is hard to square with the way your article begins. (Was 170′s yard only beautiful once you were in it?)
Excellent, thanks for the copy-editing suggestions!
The backyard views have to do with the way 170′s windows were positioned. It was beautiful inside the backyard, but the view from the house to the backyard was not good from 170, and much better from 450 (it has a Florida room). So the view of the backyard during the winter months overall would be better from 450 than 170, and that was a trade-off we did not consider when we just visited it in the summer. Goes back again to casting my mind forward to how the view would look in the future during the whole year.
Trivial copy-editing suggestions, in order of appearance:
Semicolon rather than comma before “see if you can spot it”, if you don’t mind trading a bit of informality for a bit of correctness.
“The vast majority of customers” or “The vast majority of their customers” or “The vast majority of drivers” or something, rather than “The vast majority of the customers”.
In that sentence, you have a “vast majority” and then a “large majority”, and it feels a bit clumsy. Maybe just “most” instead of “the large majority”?
Perhaps replace “in actuality” with “really”.
Surely “estimated likelihood of happiness” is wrong; you’re evaluating something more like expected happiness (though of course you shouldn’t say that either)
“We then multiplied both of these numbers by each other” feels clunky. “We multiplied the usage and value figures to give a total rating”? (My mathematical-pedant brain objects to “total” which is additive rather than multiplicative. “Overall”?)
Perhaps replace “most optimal” with “best”.
It appears that you rated the two backyard views the same, which is hard to square with the way your article begins. (Was 170′s yard only beautiful once you were in it?)
Excellent, thanks for the copy-editing suggestions!
The backyard views have to do with the way 170′s windows were positioned. It was beautiful inside the backyard, but the view from the house to the backyard was not good from 170, and much better from 450 (it has a Florida room). So the view of the backyard during the winter months overall would be better from 450 than 170, and that was a trade-off we did not consider when we just visited it in the summer. Goes back again to casting my mind forward to how the view would look in the future during the whole year.