Meanwhile, I worked with a former Army Ranger, who’d be jolly and giggling all day. “What a great job! I can get up and get a drink of cool, clean water, any time I want to. Wow! What a deal!”
I wonder if that generalizes, and if so how long you have to deprive yourself or get eaten alive by mosquitoes or something before your misery set point changes.
I further wonder what the long-term utilitarian balance on this sort of behavior looks like, under various assumptions, and if there’s a consequential case for doing that sort of thing deliberately. It’d shed some light on e.g. torturous initiation rituals if so.
You go, I don’t know, on a shift working on a fishing boat in the North Pacific in the winter—that should set your misery point pretty low—and a month after that an office job where you sit in a warm dry office all day is pure heaven. A few months after, that office job is OK. A year or two and that same office job is boring and unsatisfying. So you go and work for a bit in a deep mine where it’s always 100 degrees, 100% humidity, and you can only breath through a respirator—and get another spike. You switch to an office job and it’s heaven again… :-)
No doubt extreme hardship does help later in life in terms of having solid experienced frames of reference that make the current glass seem very full in comparison.
Fortunately, I don’t think you actually have to go through major deprivation to get that frame of reference. I don’t think it is a set point issue as much as an issue of having some perspective and controlling your emotional state.
The usual corporate job is not in fact Hell. But it hits us in all the tender points that David Rock points out in “Your Brain at Work”—Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, Fairness. The most damaging thing about it, by far, is my reaction to it.
I can get my undies in a bunch over violations of the above, or I can calm down, accept that it is what it is, while looking forward to finding some place that is better.
This post hit a chord with me, and I am curious as to what actions you took to change it. Did you simply go somewhere different, or are you doing something different?
They’re too hopeless, too irresponsible, too lazy, or too cowardly, and don’t care enough about their own lives to take care of business and take action to improve their lives. ... I suggest that if you’re in an office job that “exhausts” you, you’re doing it wrong
… The usual corporate job is not in fact Hell.
…
The most damaging thing about it, by far, is my reaction to it.
My current position is not Hell. I am not going home exhausted (though I should get more sleep).
But I saw much greater possibilities with it than are bearing out. I think those possibilities are real, except for the behavior and attitudes of the people involved that keep the possibilities from becoming realities.
At least for me, that’s where frustration and crazy starts—being dependent on the decisions of others, particularly when I think they are making poor decisions.
Attitude adjustment. Instead of being frustrated on what this place isn’t, focus on all the desirable things I get out of it, what more I can get out of it, and at least attempt to get them to change their behavior that’s limiting what this job is.
But, also recall that there are other places, other opportunities, and I should start looking around at them. The world is full of wonderful opportunities. Life isn’t that hard, and could be much better.
One thing to note while reading my posts—I’m often trying to motivate myself.
They’re too hopeless, too irresponsible, too lazy, or too cowardly, and don’t care enough about their own lives to take care of business and take action to improve their lives.
That was directed at myself as much as anyone else who could use a kick in the ass. It’s from personal experience.
Some people seem to think it’s mean to say such things. I say them because I wish I had had someone to impress them upon me years ago. Validating someone in their hopelessness and learned helplessness is not compassionate, it is destructive. It’s hard to find a legal way to hurt someone more.
I wonder if that generalizes, and if so how long you have to deprive yourself or get eaten alive by mosquitoes or something before your misery set point changes.
I further wonder what the long-term utilitarian balance on this sort of behavior looks like, under various assumptions, and if there’s a consequential case for doing that sort of thing deliberately. It’d shed some light on e.g. torturous initiation rituals if so.
I think it’s all spike-and-decay.
You go, I don’t know, on a shift working on a fishing boat in the North Pacific in the winter—that should set your misery point pretty low—and a month after that an office job where you sit in a warm dry office all day is pure heaven. A few months after, that office job is OK. A year or two and that same office job is boring and unsatisfying. So you go and work for a bit in a deep mine where it’s always 100 degrees, 100% humidity, and you can only breath through a respirator—and get another spike. You switch to an office job and it’s heaven again… :-)
You resume would look weird, though :-D
No doubt extreme hardship does help later in life in terms of having solid experienced frames of reference that make the current glass seem very full in comparison.
Fortunately, I don’t think you actually have to go through major deprivation to get that frame of reference. I don’t think it is a set point issue as much as an issue of having some perspective and controlling your emotional state.
The usual corporate job is not in fact Hell. But it hits us in all the tender points that David Rock points out in “Your Brain at Work”—Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, Fairness. The most damaging thing about it, by far, is my reaction to it.
I can get my undies in a bunch over violations of the above, or I can calm down, accept that it is what it is, while looking forward to finding some place that is better.
This post hit a chord with me, and I am curious as to what actions you took to change it. Did you simply go somewhere different, or are you doing something different?
Action 1 - attitude adjustment.
Earlier comments.
My current position is not Hell. I am not going home exhausted (though I should get more sleep).
But I saw much greater possibilities with it than are bearing out. I think those possibilities are real, except for the behavior and attitudes of the people involved that keep the possibilities from becoming realities.
At least for me, that’s where frustration and crazy starts—being dependent on the decisions of others, particularly when I think they are making poor decisions.
Attitude adjustment. Instead of being frustrated on what this place isn’t, focus on all the desirable things I get out of it, what more I can get out of it, and at least attempt to get them to change their behavior that’s limiting what this job is.
But, also recall that there are other places, other opportunities, and I should start looking around at them. The world is full of wonderful opportunities. Life isn’t that hard, and could be much better.
One thing to note while reading my posts—I’m often trying to motivate myself.
That was directed at myself as much as anyone else who could use a kick in the ass. It’s from personal experience.
Some people seem to think it’s mean to say such things. I say them because I wish I had had someone to impress them upon me years ago. Validating someone in their hopelessness and learned helplessness is not compassionate, it is destructive. It’s hard to find a legal way to hurt someone more.