What specifically is considered a transaction. Let’s assume that I am already giving something to the other person. Does it only count as a “transaction” when the other person actively gives something back to me… or is it enough if I for example derive pleasure from helping this specific person, even if the other person does not actively give me anything, even if maybe they are not even aware that I did something for them?
In other words “receiving something in return” does not necessarily imply “the other person paid back somehow”. (I could be rewarded by a third party, or by a part of my own mind.) Which one are we talking about?
I agree that the “something in return” doesn’t have to be from the other person in the relationship. For example, a doctor attending a patient is employed by the hospital, not the patient; she gets nothing from him. Still, it makes sense to view the way they relate to each other as transactional. The patient wants to get well, the doctor wants to get paid.
I agree that people can derive pleasure from helping a specific person. But it’s not normally the whole story. What they also want is expressions of gratitude, that person’s company, etc. For example, your parents may want to help you, but if you never say thank you, call them or see them, they won’t be inclined to help you nearly so much. Human beings are social animals. The “helping” is not the whole, or even the majority, of the story.
What specifically is considered a transaction. Let’s assume that I am already giving something to the other person. Does it only count as a “transaction” when the other person actively gives something back to me… or is it enough if I for example derive pleasure from helping this specific person, even if the other person does not actively give me anything, even if maybe they are not even aware that I did something for them?
In other words “receiving something in return” does not necessarily imply “the other person paid back somehow”. (I could be rewarded by a third party, or by a part of my own mind.) Which one are we talking about?
http://lesswrong.com/r/discussion/lw/m1p/open_thread_apr_13_apr_19_2015/c9eo
I agree that the “something in return” doesn’t have to be from the other person in the relationship. For example, a doctor attending a patient is employed by the hospital, not the patient; she gets nothing from him. Still, it makes sense to view the way they relate to each other as transactional. The patient wants to get well, the doctor wants to get paid.
I agree that people can derive pleasure from helping a specific person. But it’s not normally the whole story. What they also want is expressions of gratitude, that person’s company, etc. For example, your parents may want to help you, but if you never say thank you, call them or see them, they won’t be inclined to help you nearly so much. Human beings are social animals. The “helping” is not the whole, or even the majority, of the story.