I vaguely remember a claim that getting others to do favors for you actually makes them like you more, and that this effect is significantly stronger than when you do favors for them.
let everyone know what you are interested in, ask for help, etc. … maybe there are some atmospheric/social-vibe effects to take advantage of, too.
Good to have it have it pointed out explicitly. Thanks.
Possible concerns: it feels like asking for favors and such would just get annoying. We should have some discussion or find/do so research about what kind of favors are best for this.
EDIT: example:
Say I want to build a 3d printer, and I have a friend who knows more about it than me. What is the best approach:
I want to do this, can you give me some help? (general favor fishing)
or
I know you have contacts and sources for this part, can you hook me up? (specific request)
or
I want you to help me work through the details of my design, is Wednesday night good for you?
I dunno. What sort of favor-requests would annoy people, what sort would make people feel awesome?
make it easy for them, couch it in terms that make it clear you are only asking for help because you think they are so awesome. After a favor has been granted mention how awesome this person was for helping you to others in the social group, this will commonly get back to the person and is more effective than thanking them directly.
I think what would work best with me are the following:
If you’re in the very early stages, “Oh, I’ve been thinking about building a 3d printer.” Basically this is a conversational gambit, not a request for a favor at all, and if I accept that gambit we can have a conversation about 3d printers in which I might tell you things that are useful to you.
If you have most of a requirements specification, “Hey, I’m planning on building a 3d printer. I know you know a lot about this stuff, would you mind looking over my overview? I have a printout here, or I can email it to you. Maybe we can get together for lunch on Saturday and you can tell me what you think?” I’d expect specific requests to work better than general ones if you’re genuinely at a place where that’s the specific concern you have; an arbitrarily chosen specific request in a field of equally significant problems will probably annoy me. That is, if you say “Yadda yadda, and I’m not sure how I want to think about scaling factors, what do you think?” and I look at your spec and my reaction is that scaling factors are the least of your worries, my instinct is to throw the spec against a wall.
If you have most of a design, the same strategy as above, though acknowledging that a design review is much more of an investment in time and attention. I would probably respond best to a design document that had both a high-level design and a detailed design, with the explicit understanding that if I don’t choose to invest the time in a detailed design review I can just review the high-level design. Often, if the high-level design isn’t crap, it will draw me into the details anyway.
In fact, the same pattern as above applies all the way through. The general principle here seems to be that I want evidence that you are actually putting effort into this, and are genuinely looking to me for assistance, rather than trying to manipulate me into doing the work for you.
Depends how expensive it is to show your value. If you are an expert in some useful field(e.g., a lawyer), then throwing around free advice to non-specialist friends is easy, fast, and likely to be deemed quite valuable.
On Being Valuable: it is more effective to get people to do you favors. This gives them an opportunity to feel good about themselves.
edit: you can look up the relevant studies under the name “benjamin franklin effect”
I vaguely remember a claim that getting others to do favors for you actually makes them like you more, and that this effect is significantly stronger than when you do favors for them.
I was thinking about this when I wrote
Good to have it have it pointed out explicitly. Thanks.
Possible concerns: it feels like asking for favors and such would just get annoying. We should have some discussion or find/do so research about what kind of favors are best for this.
EDIT: example:
Say I want to build a 3d printer, and I have a friend who knows more about it than me. What is the best approach:
or
or
I dunno. What sort of favor-requests would annoy people, what sort would make people feel awesome?
make it easy for them, couch it in terms that make it clear you are only asking for help because you think they are so awesome. After a favor has been granted mention how awesome this person was for helping you to others in the social group, this will commonly get back to the person and is more effective than thanking them directly.
I think what would work best with me are the following:
If you’re in the very early stages, “Oh, I’ve been thinking about building a 3d printer.” Basically this is a conversational gambit, not a request for a favor at all, and if I accept that gambit we can have a conversation about 3d printers in which I might tell you things that are useful to you.
If you have most of a requirements specification, “Hey, I’m planning on building a 3d printer. I know you know a lot about this stuff, would you mind looking over my overview? I have a printout here, or I can email it to you. Maybe we can get together for lunch on Saturday and you can tell me what you think?” I’d expect specific requests to work better than general ones if you’re genuinely at a place where that’s the specific concern you have; an arbitrarily chosen specific request in a field of equally significant problems will probably annoy me. That is, if you say “Yadda yadda, and I’m not sure how I want to think about scaling factors, what do you think?” and I look at your spec and my reaction is that scaling factors are the least of your worries, my instinct is to throw the spec against a wall.
If you have most of a design, the same strategy as above, though acknowledging that a design review is much more of an investment in time and attention. I would probably respond best to a design document that had both a high-level design and a detailed design, with the explicit understanding that if I don’t choose to invest the time in a detailed design review I can just review the high-level design. Often, if the high-level design isn’t crap, it will draw me into the details anyway.
In fact, the same pattern as above applies all the way through. The general principle here seems to be that I want evidence that you are actually putting effort into this, and are genuinely looking to me for assistance, rather than trying to manipulate me into doing the work for you.
Depends how expensive it is to show your value. If you are an expert in some useful field(e.g., a lawyer), then throwing around free advice to non-specialist friends is easy, fast, and likely to be deemed quite valuable.