@Lukas Finnveden I originally heard it in a Chinese language YouTube video about Hu Shih. I tried to look up a reference before making the post, but couldn’t find anything online that was well-sourced so decided not to cite anything, but this is the best that I can find, with English translation below:
AI translated article about Hu Shih’s marriage
The Marriage of Hu Shih and Jiang Dongxiu: One of the Great Oddities of the Republican Era
“You want a divorce? Fine. Since you don’t want us anymore, I’ll kill our two sons first, then kill myself right in front of you!” Jiang Dongxiu said, full of grief and indignation.
Hu Shih looked in horror at the kitchen knife held to the neck of his 5-year-old son, Liwang, and at his 2-year-old son, Sidu, in his wife’s arms. Terrified, he fled. All thoughts of divorce could go to hell.
The woman holding the kitchen knife was Jiang Dongxiu, the arranged-marriage wife of Hu Shih, a leader of the New Culture Movement and a great literary master. Their marriage was known as one of the “Great Oddities of the Republican Era.”
The pairing of a cultural elite with an uneducated village woman was not surprising in itself; Lu Xun, Xu Zhimo, and Yu Dafu all abandoned their first wives. What seemed strange was that Hu Shih never abandoned Jiang Dongxiu.
Was Jiang Dongxiu Hu Shih’s true love? No. Hu Shih agreed to marry Jiang Dongxiu entirely to please his mother. Thus, the thirteen-year-old boy and the fourteen-year-old girl were engaged. Afterwards, Hu Shih began his thirteen-year journey of study in Shanghai and the United States, while the yet-to-be-wed Jiang Dongxiu moved into the Hu family home to care for his mother.
During his studies in America, Hu Shih met the beautiful and intelligent American woman, Edith Clifford Williams.
[“Although in the past forty-eight hours, I have already written you two letters and a postcard, I can’t resist writing another letter...”]
From excerpts of their letters, one can see the fiery passion in their relationship. During this same period, Hu Shih’s views on women’s education also changed:
The purpose of women’s education is not to prepare them to be good wives and mothers, but to cultivate free and independent women.
This shift in thinking guided his actions. Across the ocean, Jiang Dongxiu received a letter from Hu Shih asking to break off the engagement.
Hu Shih’s formidable mother said bluntly, “This is absolutely impossible, get that idea out of your head!” At the same time, she wrote a letter to Edith’s mother, informing her of the fact that Hu Shih already had a fiancée. In the end, this transnational romance was crushed by the iron will of the two matriarchs.
In 1917, the 27-year-old Hu Shih and the 28-year-old Jiang Dongxiu were finally married. Who could have known that behind this seemingly happy ending was the beginning of a nightmare.
At the wedding, the person who caught Hu Shih’s eye was not his bride, but the bridesmaid, Cao Chengying, who called him “Brother Mi.”
Cao Chengying loved flowers and literature. In her letters to Hu Shih’s wife, “Sister-in-law Dongxiu,” she would enclose poems for “Brother Mi” to appreciate, which Hu Shih was always delighted to do.
The affair between them began during a visit. When Hu Shih was recuperating from an illness in Hangzhou, Cao Chengying, who worked there, went to visit him. The two toured Hangzhou together for four days. As they parted, he gave her a short vernacular poem titled “West Lake.”
The West Lake I dreamed of for seventeen years, Cannot cure my illness, But instead makes it worse ... Now that I’ve returned, I only find it more lovely, And thus cannot bear to leave so soon.
A few days later, Hu Shih secretly traveled from Shanghai to the shores of West Lake in Hangzhou, rented a few rooms in a temple, and lived with Cao Chengying for three months. Afterwards, he went home and formally asked his wife for a divorce, to which Jiang Dongxiu gave her forceful response with a kitchen knife.
From then on, Hu Shih never mentioned divorce again and became the model of a henpecked husband in literary circles. He even wrote the “New Three Obediences and Four Virtues Song”:
[The Three Obediences: One must obey when the wife gives an order; one must follow along when the wife goes shopping or plays mahjong; one must blindly obey when the wife loses her temper for the wrong reason. The Four Virtues: One must be willing to spend when the wife buys things; one must be able to endure when the wife gets angry; one must remember the wife’s birthday; one must be able to wait when the wife is dressing up to go out.]
As for Cao Chengying, she could only grieve in sorrow and had to abort the child she was carrying.
Can a relationship last long based only on threats and intimidation? A kitchen knife can kill, but it can also express tenderness.
Jiang Dongxiu could use a kitchen knife to defend her marriage, but she could also cook Hu Shih’s favorite Anhui dish, “Yipin Guo.” She provided meticulous care in their daily life, an all-powerful homemaker who never let Hu Shih worry about a thing. In her interactions with her husband, she would even speak straightforward words of love:
[“Mr. Gao said you can’t live in Shanghai anymore, he said your health this time is not as good as before. Today I heard him say you are not very well, and my heart felt like it was being cut by a knife. No matter what, I beg you, as soon as you see my letter, to hurry back to Beijing. I have been sick for three days...”]
This was a letter Hu Shih received from his wife while he was ill. Although it was filled with misspelled words, it delighted him, and he even wrote a poem in response:
Sick in bed, I get a letter from my wife, Not even eight full lines of paper; Nothing of importance in it, Yet it makes me quite happy.
In this back-and-forth, sweetness was found between the lines. The village woman with bound feet, Jiang Dongxiu, used both hard and soft tactics to manage the great literary master Hu Shih, securing her own position and growing old together with him.
Some quotes from it:
A few days later, Hu Shih secretly traveled from Shanghai to the shores of West Lake in Hangzhou, rented a few rooms in a temple, and lived with Cao Chengying for three months. Afterwards, he went home and formally asked his wife for a divorce, to which Jiang Dongxiu gave her forceful response with a kitchen knife.
From then on, Hu Shih never mentioned divorce again and became the model of a henpecked husband in literary circles. He even wrote the “New Three Obediences and Four Virtues Song”:
[The Three Obediences: One must obey when the wife gives an order; one must follow along when the wife goes shopping or plays mahjong; one must blindly obey when the wife loses her temper for the wrong reason. The Four Virtues: One must be willing to spend when the wife buys things; one must be able to endure when the wife gets angry; one must remember the wife’s birthday; one must be able to wait when the wife is dressing up to go out.]
@Lukas Finnveden I originally heard it in a Chinese language YouTube video about Hu Shih. I tried to look up a reference before making the post, but couldn’t find anything online that was well-sourced so decided not to cite anything, but this is the best that I can find, with English translation below:
AI translated article about Hu Shih’s marriage
The Marriage of Hu Shih and Jiang Dongxiu: One of the Great Oddities of the Republican Era
“You want a divorce? Fine. Since you don’t want us anymore, I’ll kill our two sons first, then kill myself right in front of you!” Jiang Dongxiu said, full of grief and indignation.
Hu Shih looked in horror at the kitchen knife held to the neck of his 5-year-old son, Liwang, and at his 2-year-old son, Sidu, in his wife’s arms. Terrified, he fled. All thoughts of divorce could go to hell.
The woman holding the kitchen knife was Jiang Dongxiu, the arranged-marriage wife of Hu Shih, a leader of the New Culture Movement and a great literary master. Their marriage was known as one of the “Great Oddities of the Republican Era.”
The pairing of a cultural elite with an uneducated village woman was not surprising in itself; Lu Xun, Xu Zhimo, and Yu Dafu all abandoned their first wives. What seemed strange was that Hu Shih never abandoned Jiang Dongxiu.
Was Jiang Dongxiu Hu Shih’s true love? No. Hu Shih agreed to marry Jiang Dongxiu entirely to please his mother. Thus, the thirteen-year-old boy and the fourteen-year-old girl were engaged. Afterwards, Hu Shih began his thirteen-year journey of study in Shanghai and the United States, while the yet-to-be-wed Jiang Dongxiu moved into the Hu family home to care for his mother.
During his studies in America, Hu Shih met the beautiful and intelligent American woman, Edith Clifford Williams.
[“Although in the past forty-eight hours, I have already written you two letters and a postcard, I can’t resist writing another letter...”]
From excerpts of their letters, one can see the fiery passion in their relationship. During this same period, Hu Shih’s views on women’s education also changed:
The purpose of women’s education is not to prepare them to be good wives and mothers, but to cultivate free and independent women.
This shift in thinking guided his actions. Across the ocean, Jiang Dongxiu received a letter from Hu Shih asking to break off the engagement.
Hu Shih’s formidable mother said bluntly, “This is absolutely impossible, get that idea out of your head!” At the same time, she wrote a letter to Edith’s mother, informing her of the fact that Hu Shih already had a fiancée. In the end, this transnational romance was crushed by the iron will of the two matriarchs.
In 1917, the 27-year-old Hu Shih and the 28-year-old Jiang Dongxiu were finally married. Who could have known that behind this seemingly happy ending was the beginning of a nightmare.
At the wedding, the person who caught Hu Shih’s eye was not his bride, but the bridesmaid, Cao Chengying, who called him “Brother Mi.”
Cao Chengying loved flowers and literature. In her letters to Hu Shih’s wife, “Sister-in-law Dongxiu,” she would enclose poems for “Brother Mi” to appreciate, which Hu Shih was always delighted to do.
The affair between them began during a visit. When Hu Shih was recuperating from an illness in Hangzhou, Cao Chengying, who worked there, went to visit him. The two toured Hangzhou together for four days. As they parted, he gave her a short vernacular poem titled “West Lake.”
The West Lake I dreamed of for seventeen years,
Cannot cure my illness,
But instead makes it worse
...
Now that I’ve returned,
I only find it more lovely,
And thus cannot bear to leave so soon.
A few days later, Hu Shih secretly traveled from Shanghai to the shores of West Lake in Hangzhou, rented a few rooms in a temple, and lived with Cao Chengying for three months. Afterwards, he went home and formally asked his wife for a divorce, to which Jiang Dongxiu gave her forceful response with a kitchen knife.
From then on, Hu Shih never mentioned divorce again and became the model of a henpecked husband in literary circles. He even wrote the “New Three Obediences and Four Virtues Song”:
[The Three Obediences: One must obey when the wife gives an order; one must follow along when the wife goes shopping or plays mahjong; one must blindly obey when the wife loses her temper for the wrong reason. The Four Virtues: One must be willing to spend when the wife buys things; one must be able to endure when the wife gets angry; one must remember the wife’s birthday; one must be able to wait when the wife is dressing up to go out.]
As for Cao Chengying, she could only grieve in sorrow and had to abort the child she was carrying.
Can a relationship last long based only on threats and intimidation? A kitchen knife can kill, but it can also express tenderness.
Jiang Dongxiu could use a kitchen knife to defend her marriage, but she could also cook Hu Shih’s favorite Anhui dish, “Yipin Guo.” She provided meticulous care in their daily life, an all-powerful homemaker who never let Hu Shih worry about a thing. In her interactions with her husband, she would even speak straightforward words of love:
[“Mr. Gao said you can’t live in Shanghai anymore, he said your health this time is not as good as before. Today I heard him say you are not very well, and my heart felt like it was being cut by a knife. No matter what, I beg you, as soon as you see my letter, to hurry back to Beijing. I have been sick for three days...”]
This was a letter Hu Shih received from his wife while he was ill. Although it was filled with misspelled words, it delighted him, and he even wrote a poem in response:
Sick in bed, I get a letter from my wife,
Not even eight full lines of paper;
Nothing of importance in it,
Yet it makes me quite happy.
In this back-and-forth, sweetness was found between the lines. The village woman with bound feet, Jiang Dongxiu, used both hard and soft tactics to manage the great literary master Hu Shih, securing her own position and growing old together with him.
Some quotes from it:
A few days later, Hu Shih secretly traveled from Shanghai to the shores of West Lake in Hangzhou, rented a few rooms in a temple, and lived with Cao Chengying for three months. Afterwards, he went home and formally asked his wife for a divorce, to which Jiang Dongxiu gave her forceful response with a kitchen knife.
From then on, Hu Shih never mentioned divorce again and became the model of a henpecked husband in literary circles. He even wrote the “New Three Obediences and Four Virtues Song”:
[The Three Obediences: One must obey when the wife gives an order; one must follow along when the wife goes shopping or plays mahjong; one must blindly obey when the wife loses her temper for the wrong reason. The Four Virtues: One must be willing to spend when the wife buys things; one must be able to endure when the wife gets angry; one must remember the wife’s birthday; one must be able to wait when the wife is dressing up to go out.]
Thanks!