Of course this advice works only with some definitions of “weird”, and I don’t want to make it too long, but I feel it is very useful. The point is not to avoid anyone who is off-center in any Gauss curve, but to avoid specifically people who impose a huge cost on you and on people who associate with you, usually because of their serious lack of some social skill. Certainly, nobody is perfect, but don’t commit the fallacy of grey.
The advice on “Five Geek Social Fallacies” has to do with dealing with people who are not weird but rather unpleasant. The examples used are of people who are obnoxious, offensive, smell bad due to poor hygiene, or hassle newcomers. These have to do with behaviors (or lack of care) that are not distinguished by their eccentricity but by causing harm and aversion to others.
So, for the boring advice:
Distinguish harmless eccentricity from harmful eccentricity. You may travel in weird social circles, wherein you recognize that being weird doesn’t make someone bad … but just because someone is weird does not mean that they are nice, either.
(Weird social circles may also choose to exclude some behavior that is harmful but not weird. For instance, there is nothing weird about making jokes that hinge on gender stereotypes (e.g. “women are bad drivers” or “men are buffoons”); these are quite common and ordinary, found in mainstream sitcoms, stand-up comedy, and so on. But a weird social circle that cares about being welcoming to gender-nonconformists may want to say that gender stereotyping is not acceptable.)
Always remember that a company of weird people costs you your social capital. Make an estimate of costs and benefits. Multiply the costs by 10 to compensate for bias. Check again whether the benefits are real or imaginary, or could be obtained cheaper otherwise.
Note: The number 10 probably feels to big. For most weird people, the correct multiplier would be 2 or 3. But a few of them are black swans.
Avoid weird people.
(Negation of #1 geek social fallacy.)
Of course this advice works only with some definitions of “weird”, and I don’t want to make it too long, but I feel it is very useful. The point is not to avoid anyone who is off-center in any Gauss curve, but to avoid specifically people who impose a huge cost on you and on people who associate with you, usually because of their serious lack of some social skill. Certainly, nobody is perfect, but don’t commit the fallacy of grey.
“Weird” is too general here.
The advice on “Five Geek Social Fallacies” has to do with dealing with people who are not weird but rather unpleasant. The examples used are of people who are obnoxious, offensive, smell bad due to poor hygiene, or hassle newcomers. These have to do with behaviors (or lack of care) that are not distinguished by their eccentricity but by causing harm and aversion to others.
So, for the boring advice:
Distinguish harmless eccentricity from harmful eccentricity. You may travel in weird social circles, wherein you recognize that being weird doesn’t make someone bad … but just because someone is weird does not mean that they are nice, either.
(Weird social circles may also choose to exclude some behavior that is harmful but not weird. For instance, there is nothing weird about making jokes that hinge on gender stereotypes (e.g. “women are bad drivers” or “men are buffoons”); these are quite common and ordinary, found in mainstream sitcoms, stand-up comedy, and so on. But a weird social circle that cares about being welcoming to gender-nonconformists may want to say that gender stereotyping is not acceptable.)
Everyone head for the exits.
This site is full of weirdos by prevailing societal conventions.
I’d say instead to advertise what kind of person you are, so that you attract and repel the right kind of people.
I think I would only endorse this if it sorted under “Don’t avoid otherwise-valuable people just because they are weird.”
OK, second attempt:
Always remember that a company of weird people costs you your social capital. Make an estimate of costs and benefits. Multiply the costs by 10 to compensate for bias. Check again whether the benefits are real or imaginary, or could be obtained cheaper otherwise.
Note: The number 10 probably feels to big. For most weird people, the correct multiplier would be 2 or 3. But a few of them are black swans.
I agree with “Don’t neglect the costs of weirdness.”
Not if the people in my social circle are themselves weird.