Stick fork in wall socket, use spark + cotton or whatever
Strip power cord, make spark in more convenient location
Light candle from another candle
Light from stove
Light from oven
Put fire starting stuff + 2 or more pieces of metal in the microwave
Put candle on tree or roof, hope lightning strikes
Magnifying glass + sun
Laser
Spark plug from car engine
Light from exhaust of car (may need to tune car first to make exhaust fiery)
bring candle to the surface of the sun
give the candle to someone else and hope they eventually light it for their own purposes
Leave candle in public space, hope someone takes it and lights it
Light off of wild fire
Put candle in box with air and throw into deep space, hope it eventually quantum tunnels into a lit state
Light it off of dark thing in hot sun
Light with electricity generated from treadmill / stationary bicycle
Light with electric only cigarrete lighter
Break natural gas pipe, hope something ignites gas + candle eventually
Light off of electric heater
Light with exhaust from firearm
Stuff candle in barrel of firearm
Drag wick between two pieces of paper, maybe lights from friction
Cut some of candle off of wick to light more easily with above method
Write proof that simulation exists that somehow depends on candle not spontaneously lighting, then simulation controllers will light candle for you to protect simulation secret
felt like i had to because everyone else uses simulation
Put candle inside LHC
replace duterium pellet in ignition fusion experiment with candle
light candle with plasma from tokemak
Break candle into lots of short candles to try more stupid candle lighting methods on it
Replace wick of candle with match, then strike match. Does this count as a lit candle?
Put candle under desk lamp. Candle is now ‘lit’
Become very excited about prospect of lighting candle, thusly rendering it ‘lit’
Touch candle to antimatter candle
Disassemble candle, take one fiber out of wick with a little wax around it to make smaller candle. This new wick is smaller, lights easier with flint+steel or other
Light cadle with cap gun
Light with wheellock pistol
Light with explosive detonator
Light candle from across the room with infrared laser, looks like magic
Throw candle out of space station, eventually burns in atmosphere
Light with rocket engine
It turns out the candle is just a picture of a candle, draw yellow + red on it
Throw picture of candle in fire
Use candle as wad of shotgun
Throw small square of high friction paper at candle wick, cutting it in half and lighting it with friction in the process
Remove battery from phone, touch battery leads together to start fire
Climb power pole, make spark to light candle
Put flammable oil something in saucepan on induction stove, light candle
Use pascal’s mugging to coerce someone into lighting candle for you
Make advertisement for candles, causing people to buy candle and light it
Manufacture more candles, so there’s more chance one of them will be lit
Keep candle in secure vault prior to lighting so it can’t be destroyed first
Read literature on formal definition of fire so you can be completely sure whether the candle is actually lit
Submerge most of candle in cold water so you don’t accidentally melt all the wax off in your attempt to light candle (would be a shame to fail like that)
Conduct a thorough chemical profiling and and CAT scan of candle to make sure there are no explosives hidden inside before you light it
Teach humanoid robot to light candle for you
Make pre-lit candle dispenser with built in lighter, then load it with the candle
Light candle with controlled gas lighter in QA testing at candle factory
Write in your will that you want your candle to be lit
Fire your candle, hire a new candle and light that one
Hope cosmic rays light your candle
Fly in hydrogen balloon to increase your chance of getting lit by cosmic rays
Blow up said hydrogen baloon to light candle
Submerge your candle in liquid oxygen, wait for candle to spontaneously combust
Find bacteria that can eat your candle. Its calories will have been ‘burnt’, so therefore the candle must have been ‘lit’.
Drop candle in lava lake
Drop candle in molten metal in foundary
Touch wick to heating elements in toaster
Just put the candle in the toaster
Drill holes in candle to ‘lighten’ it
light candle with blowtorch
Light candle with fires in aftermath of nuclear explosion
Shove stick through candle and roast like marshmellow over campfire
Time travel back to when the candle was still petroleum in the ground, blow that up with nuke
Build a wooden bridge from an already lit candle to the target candle, which burns and lights target candle
Lay additional candle wick between other lit candle and target candle
Light candle with plutonium radiothermal power source
Light candle with heat from geothermal water based power plant
Rub hands together so hard they light candle
Light candle with dozens of high-wattage spotlights
Plant ultradense material inside candle wick, then light with high energy neutrino beem
Light candle with cold-candle-seeking missile
Tell people this particular candle is immune to lighting so they try to light it
Make real life fire breathing dragon, then have it light the candle
Do nothing, because after the candle’s protons decay they will enter a new Penrose cycle universe and become another candle that someone else will light
Trigger vacuum collapse. The energy released with the candle collapses is kinda like “lighting”
Throw molotov cocktail at candle
Focus sunlight with mirrors
Focus moonlight with mirrors onto steam engine, which generates electricity, which powers electric lights, which are focused with mirrors onto candle. (because moonlight is too low frequency to light candle)
Focus starlight with mirrors of ridiculous size onto candle
Burn candle in incinerator made for corpses
Light candle in pressure cooker
Boil candle in oil
Boil candle in water until water boils off and candle lights
Throw candle into accretion disk of black hole
Expose candle to radiation from pulsar
Light with jet engine afterburners
Light with one of those exothermic chemical reactions that’s not considered fire. (don’t actually rememer any)
Lighter
Matches
Bow and stick
Hand spin stick
Flint and steel
Flint and magnesium
Break light bulb, use filament
Stick fork in wall socket, use spark + cotton or whatever
Strip power cord, make spark in more convenient location
Light candle from another candle
Light from stove
Light from oven
Put fire starting stuff + 2 or more pieces of metal in the microwave
Put candle on tree or roof, hope lightning strikes
Magnifying glass + sun
Laser
Spark plug from car engine
Light from exhaust of car (may need to tune car first to make exhaust fiery)
bring candle to the surface of the sun
give the candle to someone else and hope they eventually light it for their own purposes
Leave candle in public space, hope someone takes it and lights it
Light off of wild fire
Put candle in box with air and throw into deep space, hope it eventually quantum tunnels into a lit state
Light it off of dark thing in hot sun
Light with electricity generated from treadmill / stationary bicycle
Light with electric only cigarrete lighter
Break natural gas pipe, hope something ignites gas + candle eventually
Light off of electric heater
Light with exhaust from firearm
Stuff candle in barrel of firearm
Drag wick between two pieces of paper, maybe lights from friction
Cut some of candle off of wick to light more easily with above method
Write proof that simulation exists that somehow depends on candle not spontaneously lighting, then simulation controllers will light candle for you to protect simulation secret
felt like i had to because everyone else uses simulation
Put candle inside LHC
replace duterium pellet in ignition fusion experiment with candle
light candle with plasma from tokemak
Break candle into lots of short candles to try more stupid candle lighting methods on it
Replace wick of candle with match, then strike match. Does this count as a lit candle?
Put candle under desk lamp. Candle is now ‘lit’
Become very excited about prospect of lighting candle, thusly rendering it ‘lit’
Touch candle to antimatter candle
Disassemble candle, take one fiber out of wick with a little wax around it to make smaller candle. This new wick is smaller, lights easier with flint+steel or other
Light cadle with cap gun
Light with wheellock pistol
Light with explosive detonator
Light candle from across the room with infrared laser, looks like magic
Throw candle out of space station, eventually burns in atmosphere
Light with rocket engine
It turns out the candle is just a picture of a candle, draw yellow + red on it
Throw picture of candle in fire
Use candle as wad of shotgun
Throw small square of high friction paper at candle wick, cutting it in half and lighting it with friction in the process
Remove battery from phone, touch battery leads together to start fire
Climb power pole, make spark to light candle
Put flammable oil something in saucepan on induction stove, light candle
Use pascal’s mugging to coerce someone into lighting candle for you
Make advertisement for candles, causing people to buy candle and light it
Manufacture more candles, so there’s more chance one of them will be lit
Keep candle in secure vault prior to lighting so it can’t be destroyed first
Read literature on formal definition of fire so you can be completely sure whether the candle is actually lit
Submerge most of candle in cold water so you don’t accidentally melt all the wax off in your attempt to light candle (would be a shame to fail like that)
Conduct a thorough chemical profiling and and CAT scan of candle to make sure there are no explosives hidden inside before you light it
Teach humanoid robot to light candle for you
Make pre-lit candle dispenser with built in lighter, then load it with the candle
Light candle with controlled gas lighter in QA testing at candle factory
Write in your will that you want your candle to be lit
Fire your candle, hire a new candle and light that one
Hope cosmic rays light your candle
Fly in hydrogen balloon to increase your chance of getting lit by cosmic rays
Blow up said hydrogen baloon to light candle
Submerge your candle in liquid oxygen, wait for candle to spontaneously combust
Find bacteria that can eat your candle. Its calories will have been ‘burnt’, so therefore the candle must have been ‘lit’.
Drop candle in lava lake
Drop candle in molten metal in foundary
Touch wick to heating elements in toaster
Just put the candle in the toaster
Drill holes in candle to ‘lighten’ it
light candle with blowtorch
Light candle with fires in aftermath of nuclear explosion
Shove stick through candle and roast like marshmellow over campfire
Time travel back to when the candle was still petroleum in the ground, blow that up with nuke
Build a wooden bridge from an already lit candle to the target candle, which burns and lights target candle
Lay additional candle wick between other lit candle and target candle
Light candle with plutonium radiothermal power source
Light candle with heat from geothermal water based power plant
Rub hands together so hard they light candle
Light candle with dozens of high-wattage spotlights
Plant ultradense material inside candle wick, then light with high energy neutrino beem
Light candle with cold-candle-seeking missile
Tell people this particular candle is immune to lighting so they try to light it
Make real life fire breathing dragon, then have it light the candle
Do nothing, because after the candle’s protons decay they will enter a new Penrose cycle universe and become another candle that someone else will light
Trigger vacuum collapse. The energy released with the candle collapses is kinda like “lighting”
Throw molotov cocktail at candle
Focus sunlight with mirrors
Focus moonlight with mirrors onto steam engine, which generates electricity, which powers electric lights, which are focused with mirrors onto candle. (because moonlight is too low frequency to light candle)
Focus starlight with mirrors of ridiculous size onto candle
Burn candle in incinerator made for corpses
Light candle in pressure cooker
Boil candle in oil
Boil candle in water until water boils off and candle lights
Throw candle into accretion disk of black hole
Expose candle to radiation from pulsar
Light with jet engine afterburners
Light with one of those exothermic chemical reactions that’s not considered fire. (don’t actually rememer any)