Crocker’s Rules are appealing. That’s taking responsibility! As to never lying—even by selective silence—it would be valuable to have a hair-trigger interior recognition when you want to lie, and figure out whether it is for your sake or for the other person’s. First case, tell the truth instead. Second, tread very carefully. But be aware, maybe even creative.
Some scripts for common lies might help.
“I don’t care.” > “It’s not something I think about much.”
“Yes, you look fat in that.” > “Look, a shooting star! Here, out the window!” Or, “I always love you in green.”
The old guy whose poetry was mediocre? Possible to
—pick out your “favorite” line;
—write him back one more time, chatty, asking how he’s doing;
—send him a book on writing poetry, saying something about how good poetry is for the soul, whether or not it is published or famous.
The lying the reporter did in that case was to save himself any outlay of human kindness.
I don’t like the Blanton guy. I think he shows signs of pumping his endorphins at the expense of other people. But at least he makes us notice how much and how easily we lie, and as such generates some motivation to find ways to be more authentic. (Samuel Johnson to Boswell: “Clear your mind of cant!”) At worst he encourages more endorphin addicts, bullies with a self-righteous theory.
Crocker’s Rules are appealing. That’s taking responsibility!
Can’t you take exactly the same responsibility for your own actions without ever thinking of or mentioning some rules?
ETA: Man, it’s frustrating to get downvoted for asking a question. If the question is stupid or the answer is obvious, fine, but I haven’t learned anything unless you tell me why.
Crocker’s Rules invite one’s interlocutor to dispense with pleasantries, taking responsibility onto oneself for not being offended. There is no way to make an invitation without some communication.
Crocker’s Rules are appealing. That’s taking responsibility! As to never lying—even by selective silence—it would be valuable to have a hair-trigger interior recognition when you want to lie, and figure out whether it is for your sake or for the other person’s. First case, tell the truth instead. Second, tread very carefully. But be aware, maybe even creative.
Some scripts for common lies might help. “I don’t care.” > “It’s not something I think about much.” “Yes, you look fat in that.” > “Look, a shooting star! Here, out the window!” Or, “I always love you in green.”
The old guy whose poetry was mediocre? Possible to —pick out your “favorite” line; —write him back one more time, chatty, asking how he’s doing; —send him a book on writing poetry, saying something about how good poetry is for the soul, whether or not it is published or famous. The lying the reporter did in that case was to save himself any outlay of human kindness.
I don’t like the Blanton guy. I think he shows signs of pumping his endorphins at the expense of other people. But at least he makes us notice how much and how easily we lie, and as such generates some motivation to find ways to be more authentic. (Samuel Johnson to Boswell: “Clear your mind of cant!”) At worst he encourages more endorphin addicts, bullies with a self-righteous theory.
Can’t you take exactly the same responsibility for your own actions without ever thinking of or mentioning some rules?
ETA: Man, it’s frustrating to get downvoted for asking a question. If the question is stupid or the answer is obvious, fine, but I haven’t learned anything unless you tell me why.
Late to the party, but...
Crocker’s Rules invite one’s interlocutor to dispense with pleasantries, taking responsibility onto oneself for not being offended. There is no way to make an invitation without some communication.