Agreed that this is part of it, but I think there’s more to it.
Yes, one thing that makes a compliment rewarding is the implication that someone considers me worth devoting effort to establishing a social bond with, and the degree of effort they devote to it (either in the form of time spent thinking carefully, or of time spent paying attention, or of time spent earning resources to gift to me, or whatever) is a big component of that. Absolutely.
But also, it’s rewarding to contrast myself positively with my surroundings… to reflect on my superiority in whatever areas I feel superior in. And the more detailed and specific that contrast, the better. And if I’ve internalized the idea that “tooting my own horn” in this way is a Bad Thing, then it’s even more rewarding if someone else does it.
And, also, my perception of the status of the person of the person making the effort is an important component. In a forum like this where perceived status is tied to perceptiveness/intelligence/etc., a compliment that demonstrates perception and intelligence is therefore more rewarding than one that doesn’t.
Agreed that this is part of it, but I think there’s more to it.
Yes, one thing that makes a compliment rewarding is the implication that someone considers me worth devoting effort to establishing a social bond with, and the degree of effort they devote to it (either in the form of time spent thinking carefully, or of time spent paying attention, or of time spent earning resources to gift to me, or whatever) is a big component of that. Absolutely.
But also, it’s rewarding to contrast myself positively with my surroundings… to reflect on my superiority in whatever areas I feel superior in. And the more detailed and specific that contrast, the better. And if I’ve internalized the idea that “tooting my own horn” in this way is a Bad Thing, then it’s even more rewarding if someone else does it.
And, also, my perception of the status of the person of the person making the effort is an important component. In a forum like this where perceived status is tied to perceptiveness/intelligence/etc., a compliment that demonstrates perception and intelligence is therefore more rewarding than one that doesn’t.