I wish I could say that I don’t value status. But whom would I be kidding. It gives me warm fuzzies when people I value appreciate and respect me. My guess is that this trait is mostly innate, rather then acquired.
I wish I could say that I don’t value status. But whom would I be kidding. It gives me warm fuzzies when people I value appreciate and respect me.
Me too, but...
My guess is that this trait is mostly innate, rather then acquired.
I’m pretty sure I didn’t use to be like that. As far as I can tell (though my introspection is far from perfect), I started off as a nerd who didn’t care about status at all (either instrumentally or terminally), then realized status is instrumentally useful, started to pursue it, and eventually find myself getting warm fuzzies from it. A subgoal stomp has occurred.
Also...
people I value
There are plenty of people who care about what other people whom they don’t know and who aren’t likely to ever non-trivially interact with them think of them; whereas I don’t give a damn (either instrumentally or terminally) what strangers think, except insofar as they might become non-strangers.
EDIT: Note that I might be have a different view of status than most people here. For example, many say that status is zero-sum by definition, but if status is something like “one’s value as an ally” (and/or stuff that correlated with that in the environment of evolutionary adaptedness), not only can’t I see why that would be zero-sum, but I’d also actually prefer other people to be high-status than low-status all other things being equal.
My guess is that this trait is mostly innate, rather then acquired.
I’m pretty sure I didn’t use to be like that. As far as I can tell (though my introspection is far from perfect), I started off as a nerd who didn’t care about status at all (either instrumentally or terminally), then realized status is instrumentally useful, started to pursue it, and eventually find myself getting warm fuzzies from it. A subgoal stomp has occurred.
Did this happen during your developmental years? This seems to be a typical high school experience, which would lead me to believe that it is more of an innate process people go through. (Albiet a lot of people are inherently social at a very young age).
No, I was in my twenties. The process started when I was studying abroad and living in a residence (AmE: dorm), and living with a bunch of people none of whom I had known beforehand probably played a huge role (though the process I described in the grandparent took a couple years to complete, by which time I had been back in my country for about a year, and been reading LW for about half a year). (The experience of no longer wanting to be a reclusive geek and starting to want to have a social life did happen when in high school and only took a few months, but it’s not like I tried to be as popular as possible: not being in the bottom decile kind of sufficed.)
Would you feel better if you could suppress low status emotions like sympathy for people who are sexually attracted to children or animals? Or if you could feel okay never shaving or buying new clothes?
I’m not even sure people want to want to not care about status.
Wow, guilty as charged. I don’t shave my legs, and routinely wear clothing that reveals that :)
It’s really pretty pleasant, I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t want to be like me. I can still play dress up for interviews, I just get the option to Not Care when it’s not instrumentally useful :)
(Downside: I routinely have less available social capital, which means the few times I want to make high-status requests, it’s a complete pain. It’s so rare that the instrumental value just doesn’t seem worth the effort, though)
There are the other status questions that I asked, if you don’t care about shaving.
Also, contrarian cred is still cred. If you are seeking the approval of people who are defined by their lack of compliance, that is still seeking approval. I don’t know if that is the case or not for you, but it often is.
I wish I could say that I don’t value status. But whom would I be kidding. It gives me warm fuzzies when people I value appreciate and respect me. My guess is that this trait is mostly innate, rather then acquired.
Me too, but...
I’m pretty sure I didn’t use to be like that. As far as I can tell (though my introspection is far from perfect), I started off as a nerd who didn’t care about status at all (either instrumentally or terminally), then realized status is instrumentally useful, started to pursue it, and eventually find myself getting warm fuzzies from it. A subgoal stomp has occurred.
Also...
There are plenty of people who care about what other people whom they don’t know and who aren’t likely to ever non-trivially interact with them think of them; whereas I don’t give a damn (either instrumentally or terminally) what strangers think, except insofar as they might become non-strangers.
EDIT: Note that I might be have a different view of status than most people here. For example, many say that status is zero-sum by definition, but if status is something like “one’s value as an ally” (and/or stuff that correlated with that in the environment of evolutionary adaptedness), not only can’t I see why that would be zero-sum, but I’d also actually prefer other people to be high-status than low-status all other things being equal.
Did this happen during your developmental years? This seems to be a typical high school experience, which would lead me to believe that it is more of an innate process people go through. (Albiet a lot of people are inherently social at a very young age).
No, I was in my twenties. The process started when I was studying abroad and living in a residence (AmE: dorm), and living with a bunch of people none of whom I had known beforehand probably played a huge role (though the process I described in the grandparent took a couple years to complete, by which time I had been back in my country for about a year, and been reading LW for about half a year). (The experience of no longer wanting to be a reclusive geek and starting to want to have a social life did happen when in high school and only took a few months, but it’s not like I tried to be as popular as possible: not being in the bottom decile kind of sufficed.)
Would you feel better if you could suppress low status emotions like sympathy for people who are sexually attracted to children or animals? Or if you could feel okay never shaving or buying new clothes?
I’m not even sure people want to want to not care about status.
Wow, guilty as charged. I don’t shave my legs, and routinely wear clothing that reveals that :)
It’s really pretty pleasant, I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t want to be like me. I can still play dress up for interviews, I just get the option to Not Care when it’s not instrumentally useful :)
(Downside: I routinely have less available social capital, which means the few times I want to make high-status requests, it’s a complete pain. It’s so rare that the instrumental value just doesn’t seem worth the effort, though)
There are the other status questions that I asked, if you don’t care about shaving.
Also, contrarian cred is still cred. If you are seeking the approval of people who are defined by their lack of compliance, that is still seeking approval. I don’t know if that is the case or not for you, but it often is.