I think most people here have some sort of similar problem. Mine isn’t being emotionless (ha!) but not knowing the right thing to say, putting my foot in my mouth, and so on. Occasionally coming across as a pedant, which is so embarrassing.
I may be getting better at it, though. One thing is: if you are a nerd (in the sense of passionate about something abstract) just roll with it. You will get along better with similar people. Your non-nerdy friends will know you’re a nerd. I try to be as nice as possible so that when, inevitably, I say something clumsy or reveal that I’m ignorant of something basic, it’s not taken too negatively. Nice but clueless is much better than arrogant.
And always wait for a cue from the other person to reveal something about yourself. Don’t bring up politics unless he does; don’t mention your interests unless he asks you; don’t use long words unless he does.
I can’t dance for shit, but various kinds of exercise are a good way to meet a broader spectrum of people.
Do I still feel like I’m mostly tolerated rather than liked? Yeah. It can be pretty depressing. But such is life.
As for dating—the numbers are different from my perspective, of course, but so far I’ve found I’m not going to click really profoundly with guys who aren’t intelligent. I don’t mean that in a snobbish way, it’s just a self-knowledge thing—conversation is really fun for me, and I have more fun spending time with quick, talkative types. There’s no point forcing yourself to be around people you don’t enjoy.
I think most people here have some sort of similar problem. Mine isn’t being emotionless (ha!) but not knowing the right thing to say, putting my foot in my mouth, and so on. Occasionally coming across as a pedant, which is so embarrassing.
I may be getting better at it, though. One thing is: if you are a nerd (in the sense of passionate about something abstract) just roll with it. You will get along better with similar people. Your non-nerdy friends will know you’re a nerd. I try to be as nice as possible so that when, inevitably, I say something clumsy or reveal that I’m ignorant of something basic, it’s not taken too negatively. Nice but clueless is much better than arrogant.
And always wait for a cue from the other person to reveal something about yourself. Don’t bring up politics unless he does; don’t mention your interests unless he asks you; don’t use long words unless he does.
I can’t dance for shit, but various kinds of exercise are a good way to meet a broader spectrum of people.
Do I still feel like I’m mostly tolerated rather than liked? Yeah. It can be pretty depressing. But such is life.
As for dating—the numbers are different from my perspective, of course, but so far I’ve found I’m not going to click really profoundly with guys who aren’t intelligent. I don’t mean that in a snobbish way, it’s just a self-knowledge thing—conversation is really fun for me, and I have more fun spending time with quick, talkative types. There’s no point forcing yourself to be around people you don’t enjoy.