I suggest a lot of practice talking to non-nerds or nerds who aren’t in their nerd mode. (And less time with your ex!)
A perfect form of practice is dance. Take swing dancing lessons, for example. That removes the possibility of using your overwhelming verbal fluency and persona of intellectual brilliance. It makes it far easier to activate that part that is sometimes called ‘human’ but perhaps more accurately called ‘animal’. Once you master maintaining the social connection in a purely non-verbal setting adding in a verbal component yet maintaining the flow should be far simpler.
I suggest a lot of practice talking to non-nerds or nerds who aren’t in their nerd mode.
Non-nerdy people who are interesting are surprisingly difficult to find, and I have a hard time connecting with the ones I do find such that I don’t get much practice in. I’m guessing that the biggest demographic here would be artists (musicians). Being passionate about something abstract seems to be the common denominator.
(And less time with your ex!)
Ha, perhaps a good idea, but I enjoy the criticism. She points out flaws that I might have missed otherwise. I wonder if one could market themselves as a professional personality flaw detector or the like. I’d pay to see one.
Once you master maintaining the social connection in a purely non-verbal setting adding in a verbal component yet maintaining the flow should be far simpler.
Interesting, I had discounted dancing because of its nonverbality. Thanks for alerting me to my mistake!
Interesting, I had discounted dancing because of its nonverbality. Thanks for alerting me to my mistake!
I was using very similar reasoning when I suggested “non nerds or nerds not presently in nerd mode”. The key is hide the abstract discussion crutch!
Ha, perhaps a good idea, but I enjoy the criticism. She points out flaws that I might have missed otherwise. I wonder if one could market themselves as a professional personality flaw detector or the like. I’d pay to see one.
Friends who are willing to suggest improvements (Tsuyoku naritai) sincerely are valuable resources! If your ex is able to point out a flaw then perhaps you could ask her to lead you through an example of how to have a ‘warm, human’ interaction, showing you the difference between that and what you usually do? Mind you, it is still almost certainly better to listen to criticism from someone who has a vested interest in your improvement rather than your acknowledgement of flaws. Like, say, a current girlfriend. ;)
Interesting, I had discounted dancing because of its nonverbality.
In my last semester at college, I figured I should take fun classes while I could, so I took two one credit drumming classes. In African Drumming Ensemble, we spent 90% of the time doing complex group dances and not drumming, because the drumming was so much easier to learn than the dancing.
Being tricked into taking a dance class was broadly good for my social skills, not the least my confidence on a dance floor.
I suggest a lot of practice talking to non-nerds or nerds who aren’t in their nerd mode. (And less time with your ex!)
A perfect form of practice is dance. Take swing dancing lessons, for example. That removes the possibility of using your overwhelming verbal fluency and persona of intellectual brilliance. It makes it far easier to activate that part that is sometimes called ‘human’ but perhaps more accurately called ‘animal’. Once you master maintaining the social connection in a purely non-verbal setting adding in a verbal component yet maintaining the flow should be far simpler.
Non-nerdy people who are interesting are surprisingly difficult to find, and I have a hard time connecting with the ones I do find such that I don’t get much practice in. I’m guessing that the biggest demographic here would be artists (musicians). Being passionate about something abstract seems to be the common denominator.
Ha, perhaps a good idea, but I enjoy the criticism. She points out flaws that I might have missed otherwise. I wonder if one could market themselves as a professional personality flaw detector or the like. I’d pay to see one.
Interesting, I had discounted dancing because of its nonverbality. Thanks for alerting me to my mistake!
I was using very similar reasoning when I suggested “non nerds or nerds not presently in nerd mode”. The key is hide the abstract discussion crutch!
Friends who are willing to suggest improvements (Tsuyoku naritai) sincerely are valuable resources! If your ex is able to point out a flaw then perhaps you could ask her to lead you through an example of how to have a ‘warm, human’ interaction, showing you the difference between that and what you usually do? Mind you, it is still almost certainly better to listen to criticism from someone who has a vested interest in your improvement rather than your acknowledgement of flaws. Like, say, a current girlfriend. ;)
In my last semester at college, I figured I should take fun classes while I could, so I took two one credit drumming classes. In African Drumming Ensemble, we spent 90% of the time doing complex group dances and not drumming, because the drumming was so much easier to learn than the dancing.
Being tricked into taking a dance class was broadly good for my social skills, not the least my confidence on a dance floor.