Alice should already know what kind of foods her friends like before inviting them to a dinner party where she provides all the food. She could have gathered this information by eating with them at other events, such as restaurants, pot lucks, or at mutual friends. Or she could have learned it in general conversation. When inviting friends to a dinner party where she provides all the food, Alice should say what the menu is and ask for allergies and dietary restrictions.
This is all true as far as it goes, but what it cashes out as is “don’t host a vegan dinner party for a bunch of non-vegan people”. Well, I agree with that; but is that the point you were making to begin with? If it is, then it seems like you’re basically agreeing with me, yes?
Bob should be honest about his food preferences instead of silently resenting the situation. In his culture it’s rude to ask Alice to serve meat. Fine, don’t do that. But it’s not rude to have food preferences and express them politely, so do that. I’m not so much saying “communicate better” as “use your words”.
Sure, but in the scenario we’re discussing, Alice already knows that Bob isn’t a vegan, and doesn’t prefer vegan food. She just thinks that her vegan food is so good that Bob likes it anyhow. It turns out that she’s wrong! If Bob tells her this, then what he’s saying is “you’re not as good a cook as you thought” (which is, in this hypothetical scenario, objectively true!). Will Alice’s feelings be hurt by that? Probably yes.
If Bob can’t think of any words he can ask an LLM.
I’m sorry, but I have no interest whatever in an LLM’s suggestions on this subject (nor on most other subjects).
It’s a messed up situation and it mostly sounds to me like Alice and Bob are idiots.
Well, hypothetical Alice is acting in the same way that OP describes himself as acting. Is that idiotic behavior? I suppose opinions may differ. Is hypothetical Bob’s behavior idiotic? I don’t know, it seems fairly reasonable. We’re not talking about a scenario where Bob just can’t stomach any of Alice’s food at all. Bob just wishes that Alice would cook normal food, like a normal person. It’s not really clear what the best play for Bob is. I don’t know what he could say that would both be true and tactful. Bob has decided that he’d prefer to be tactful, givens the pros and cons of the available courses of action. That doesn’t seem obviously stupid to me.
This is all true as far as it goes, but what it cashes out as is “don’t host a vegan dinner party for a bunch of non-vegan people”. Well, I agree with that; but is that the point you were making to begin with? If it is, then it seems like you’re basically agreeing with me, yes?
Sure, but in the scenario we’re discussing, Alice already knows that Bob isn’t a vegan, and doesn’t prefer vegan food. She just thinks that her vegan food is so good that Bob likes it anyhow. It turns out that she’s wrong! If Bob tells her this, then what he’s saying is “you’re not as good a cook as you thought” (which is, in this hypothetical scenario, objectively true!). Will Alice’s feelings be hurt by that? Probably yes.
I’m sorry, but I have no interest whatever in an LLM’s suggestions on this subject (nor on most other subjects).
Well, hypothetical Alice is acting in the same way that OP describes himself as acting. Is that idiotic behavior? I suppose opinions may differ. Is hypothetical Bob’s behavior idiotic? I don’t know, it seems fairly reasonable. We’re not talking about a scenario where Bob just can’t stomach any of Alice’s food at all. Bob just wishes that Alice would cook normal food, like a normal person. It’s not really clear what the best play for Bob is. I don’t know what he could say that would both be true and tactful. Bob has decided that he’d prefer to be tactful, givens the pros and cons of the available courses of action. That doesn’t seem obviously stupid to me.