The more EAs I meet, the more I realize that wanting the challenge is a load-bearing pillar of sanity when working on alignment.
When people first seriously think about alignment, a majority freak out. Existential threats are terrifying. And when people first seriously look at their own capabilities, or the capabilities of the world, to deal with the problem, a majority despair. This is not one of those things where someone says “terrible things will happen, but we have a solution ready to go, all we need is your help!”. Terrible things will happen, we don’t have a solution ready to go, and even figuring out how to help is a nontrivial problem. When people really come to grips with that, tears are a common response.
… but for someone who wants the challenge, the emotional response is different. The problem is terrifying? Our current capabilities seem woefully inadequate? Good; this problem is worthy. The part of me which looks at a rickety ladder 30 feet down into a dark tunnel and says “let’s go!” wants this. The part of me which looks at a cliff face with no clear path up and cracks its knuckles wants this. The part of me which looks at a problem with no clear solution and smiles wants this. The response isn’t tears, it’s “let’s fucking do this”.
“Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.”
Which is to say—despite a lot of other tragedies about me, there is a core part of me, dinged-up and bruised but still fighting, that looks at a beautiful core mystery and says—“No, unacceptable—we must know. We will know. I am hungry, and will chase this truth down, and it will not evade my jaws for long.” (Sometimes it even gets what it wants.)
“Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.”
Which is to say—despite a lot of other tragedies about me, there is a core part of me, dinged-up and bruised but still fighting, that looks at a beautiful core mystery and says—“No, unacceptable—we must know. We will know. I am hungry, and will chase this truth down, and it will not evade my jaws for long.” (Sometimes it even gets what it wants.)