A series of flashing lights seen from the moon have been discovered to be Morse code and translated into the following telegram:
Several interrogated eyewitnesses in Berlin report that the huge explosion that the invaders witnessed from a distance was, in fact, the flame of a so-called “rocket” taking the Kajser to safety along with a hand-picked staff. Long the personal project of Herr Prof. Doktor Weltschmerz (Dr.phil, Dr.med, D.Sc, D.Occ Psych, Eng.D, etc.), it was completed at the last moment and sparing no expenses. The last remnants of the German empire are now believed to have relocated to the dark side of the moon, where they will be licking their wounds and plotting revenge.
Unfortunately, as the loss of several mineral-rich German territories made better materials unavailable, the Kajser’s men had to once again use up all of Berlin’s accumulated truth reserves to be forged into plating for the rocket. This is a disappointment to the occupying
troops, who had hoped for an opportunity to loot the city to replace the truth supplies that were expended while on the war path. It also helps explain why the news of the Kajser’s escape were not heard earlier. New truth had to be imported from the coffers of the occupying nations and brought to the interrogation chambers to make the eyewitnesses talk of what actually happened. Before, only wild fabrications could be gotten out of them, such as mad ravings about a possible time when all the rulers weren’t constantly seeking to stab
each other in the back.
A series of flashing lights seen from the moon have been discovered to be Morse code and translated into the following telegram: