Here is the subsection on analyzing disagreements:
Because arguments are emotional, it can be helpful to try to dispassionately assess the situation with your partner and get to the root of the problem.
The first step is to break the disagreement down into isolated chunks. Identify the handful of differences you are having, and deal with them as independently as possible. If you notice discussion of one problem bleeding into another, try to refocus on the subject at hand.
For each problem, try to set aside your ego and emotions; what’s the real issue? Ask fair questions of your partner and hear them out. At the end of your discussion, you should be able to articulate your partner’s point in a way they would find satisfactory. A surprising number of arguments can be resolved simply by giving both partners a fair hearing.
It can be helpful to try to come up with neutral examples related to your problem. Flip the roles that you and your partner play in the example and be honest about how it would change things. It also can be helpful to consider things from a third-person perspective [4].
At the end of all of this, you should come to an agreement about the things you will do differently in the future. Once again, it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be something you can build upon.
Great idea, thanks for posting this!
I wrote a post on how to have productive disagreements with loved ones:
https://harsimony.wordpress.com/2022/06/21/winning-arguments-with-loved-ones/
Here is the subsection on analyzing disagreements: