Should you be Wednesday’s “atheist auntie?” I would say yes.
You’re asking, “What does she gain from being an atheist?” Well, there are several possibilities—someone mentioned a happier sexuality—but, in my opinion, what really matters is the end of the divided will. Sooner or later, most people find some tenet of their religion that they disagree with, or think is silly, or even horrible, but they’re convinced that God wills it. How do you disagree with God? Well, in my case, for a long time, my basic moral premise was “I suck.” That’s no way to live.
Religion can work very well for people who can compartmentalize, or not take it too seriously. Most religious people treat it as a pleasant tradition and an impetus to do right, and that’s pretty much okay in my book. Not everyone is a big fan of consistency the way I am—I have a rather black-and-white personality. But if you are a stickler for consistency then religion will break you and terrify you, and actually prevent you from living well.
You do her no harm if you’re her “atheist auntie.” If she stays a Mormon she’ll just be a cosmopolitan one who can say “some of my best friends are atheist,” which isn’t so bad in itself. If she doesn’t—well, she may have to endure secrecy (while her parents are still supporting her) but she may be better off for it in the long run.
Should we be nicer to theists? I actually have a pet peeve against smarmy atheists. That can be just another bias. There can be a snotty, ignorant tone—less often here, but familiar from people I know in real life who were raised non-religious. I don’t like it, it serves no good purpose, and maybe we should consciously avoid it. Stop and think for a minute and there are historical and present-day heroes who believe in God.
Sooner or later, most people find some tenet of their religion that they disagree with, or think is silly, or even horrible, but they’re convinced that God wills it. How do you disagree with God?
In my experience, people in non-fundamentalist religious traditions tend to change their God to match their new opinions.
(That’s no way to live either, but at least it can be less mentally burdensome than blaming oneself.)
Edit: I’m saying that sincerely, and I hope it doesn’t come off as smarmy/ignorant atheism. It’s an accurate description of most of the liberal religious people I know.
I don’t think there’s much harm in that. It’s what my parents and best friend do, and I admire them. They say they’re religious, but when it comes to brass tacks they’ll use their own common sense every time.
Religion, worn lightly in that way, is just clothing for whatever your beliefs are. If you believe in social justice, say, you may quote Jesus or Isaiah to that end, but your convictions are pretty much your own. Religion, if not taken at face value, is a pretty nice bundle of poetry, song, holidays, and moral precepts, which may not be bad as a component of one’s life. I’m not entirely sure I don’t want to keep up participating myself, just to be a member of the community.
Religion taken seriously is a completely different animal. If you’re sufficiently literal-minded, you can’t wear it lightly. You wind up like I did in high school, working in a genetics lab and seriously believing that my gel electrophoresis wasn’t working because God was angry with me. I can look back on that time with some degree of amusement now, but it was hell. I was pretty damn close to drinking acrylamide on several occasions. (Happy ending of sorts: there turned out to be a physical explanation for why my experiments didn’t work. It wasn’t divine retribution, but contaminated reagents.)
The thing is, nobody asked me to be a superstitious, cringing freak. Most people where I grew up took their religion lightly. They had a little healthy hypocrisy. But I didn’t; I took it at face value, because I was literal-minded and had a good eye for logical consistency. And when you do that, you wind up praying over your gels.
Should you be Wednesday’s “atheist auntie?” I would say yes.
You’re asking, “What does she gain from being an atheist?” Well, there are several possibilities—someone mentioned a happier sexuality—but, in my opinion, what really matters is the end of the divided will. Sooner or later, most people find some tenet of their religion that they disagree with, or think is silly, or even horrible, but they’re convinced that God wills it. How do you disagree with God? Well, in my case, for a long time, my basic moral premise was “I suck.” That’s no way to live.
Religion can work very well for people who can compartmentalize, or not take it too seriously. Most religious people treat it as a pleasant tradition and an impetus to do right, and that’s pretty much okay in my book. Not everyone is a big fan of consistency the way I am—I have a rather black-and-white personality. But if you are a stickler for consistency then religion will break you and terrify you, and actually prevent you from living well.
You do her no harm if you’re her “atheist auntie.” If she stays a Mormon she’ll just be a cosmopolitan one who can say “some of my best friends are atheist,” which isn’t so bad in itself. If she doesn’t—well, she may have to endure secrecy (while her parents are still supporting her) but she may be better off for it in the long run.
Should we be nicer to theists? I actually have a pet peeve against smarmy atheists. That can be just another bias. There can be a snotty, ignorant tone—less often here, but familiar from people I know in real life who were raised non-religious. I don’t like it, it serves no good purpose, and maybe we should consciously avoid it. Stop and think for a minute and there are historical and present-day heroes who believe in God.
In my experience, people in non-fundamentalist religious traditions tend to change their God to match their new opinions.
(That’s no way to live either, but at least it can be less mentally burdensome than blaming oneself.)
Edit: I’m saying that sincerely, and I hope it doesn’t come off as smarmy/ignorant atheism. It’s an accurate description of most of the liberal religious people I know.
I don’t think there’s much harm in that. It’s what my parents and best friend do, and I admire them. They say they’re religious, but when it comes to brass tacks they’ll use their own common sense every time.
Religion, worn lightly in that way, is just clothing for whatever your beliefs are. If you believe in social justice, say, you may quote Jesus or Isaiah to that end, but your convictions are pretty much your own. Religion, if not taken at face value, is a pretty nice bundle of poetry, song, holidays, and moral precepts, which may not be bad as a component of one’s life. I’m not entirely sure I don’t want to keep up participating myself, just to be a member of the community.
Religion taken seriously is a completely different animal. If you’re sufficiently literal-minded, you can’t wear it lightly. You wind up like I did in high school, working in a genetics lab and seriously believing that my gel electrophoresis wasn’t working because God was angry with me. I can look back on that time with some degree of amusement now, but it was hell. I was pretty damn close to drinking acrylamide on several occasions. (Happy ending of sorts: there turned out to be a physical explanation for why my experiments didn’t work. It wasn’t divine retribution, but contaminated reagents.)
The thing is, nobody asked me to be a superstitious, cringing freak. Most people where I grew up took their religion lightly. They had a little healthy hypocrisy. But I didn’t; I took it at face value, because I was literal-minded and had a good eye for logical consistency. And when you do that, you wind up praying over your gels.
Didn’t come off that way to me. It’s what I did for a few years, before I finally gave up my beliefs.