There is a cognitive cost associated with tracking echoes, which increases the more you track
Expectations about how many echoes you track are at least partly a negotiation over how labor should be distributed; e.g. am I responsible for mitigating the emotional damage that I take from your opinions, or are you?
Skills (and related issues) make this cost higher for some people and lower for others
People may have misunderstandings about what costs others are actually paying, or being expected to pay
The ability to predict echoes can be used in a friendly way (e.g. to make the conversation more comfortable for the other person) but can also be used in an unfriendly way (e.g. to manipulate them, such as in the example of asking parents if a friend can stay, in front of that friend)
Thoughts that occurred...
There is a cognitive cost associated with tracking echoes, which increases the more you track
Expectations about how many echoes you track are at least partly a negotiation over how labor should be distributed; e.g. am I responsible for mitigating the emotional damage that I take from your opinions, or are you?
Skills (and related issues) make this cost higher for some people and lower for others
People may have misunderstandings about what costs others are actually paying, or being expected to pay
The ability to predict echoes can be used in a friendly way (e.g. to make the conversation more comfortable for the other person) but can also be used in an unfriendly way (e.g. to manipulate them, such as in the example of asking parents if a friend can stay, in front of that friend)