I think you really want to edit in some sort of pitch for reading this, right at the top. The premises are both silly and kind of irritating, so I was barely motivated enough to scroll to the bottom to see if you had a point that anyone would care about. You did. So put it up front. Time and attention are limited resources.
Which point are you refering to here as being useful? The discussion around making plans? Or Incentivizing certain safety proceedures? Or something else?
The part where you debate the merits of this ridiculously arrogant plan and decide against it.
The premise that no one else cares is factually false, so reading farther seemed like a waste of time. You said at the top it would be fun for you to write it, so I assumed that was the main purpose, and it wasn’t even claiming to be worth my time.
I think you really want to edit in some sort of pitch for reading this, right at the top. The premises are both silly and kind of irritating, so I was barely motivated enough to scroll to the bottom to see if you had a point that anyone would care about. You did. So put it up front. Time and attention are limited resources.
Thank you for the feedback, deeply appreciated!
Which point are you refering to here as being useful? The discussion around making plans? Or Incentivizing certain safety proceedures? Or something else?
The part where you debate the merits of this ridiculously arrogant plan and decide against it.
The premise that no one else cares is factually false, so reading farther seemed like a waste of time. You said at the top it would be fun for you to write it, so I assumed that was the main purpose, and it wasn’t even claiming to be worth my time.
Okay, that makes sense, thank you for the feedback! I’ll revise it.