I suspect there’s a basic reason why futility claims are often successful in therapy/coaching: by claiming (and succeeding in convincing the client) that something can’t be changed, you reduce the client’s shame in not changing the thing. Now the client is without shame, and that’s a state of mind that makes it a priory easier to change, and focusing the change on aspects the client didn’t fail on in the past additionally increases the chance of succeeding since there’s no evidence of not succeeding on those aspects.
However, I also really care about truth, and so I really dislike such futility claims.
I suspect there’s a basic reason why futility claims are often successful in therapy/coaching: by claiming (and succeeding in convincing the client) that something can’t be changed, you reduce the client’s shame in not changing the thing. Now the client is without shame, and that’s a state of mind that makes it a priory easier to change, and focusing the change on aspects the client didn’t fail on in the past additionally increases the chance of succeeding since there’s no evidence of not succeeding on those aspects.
However, I also really care about truth, and so I really dislike such futility claims.