This was very interesting to read. Thank you for writing up such a detailed example!
> Jimmy: Sounds like you’re not too happy with your new identity as “fat kid,” and are kinda pissed at life for pushing you to accept it. Jimmy: I’m gonna go out on a limb and predict that the reason you’re pissed and haven’t fully accepted it is that “accepting it” kinda feels like “accepting your fate.” Jimmy: You don’t want the rest of your life to be this way. The time you already spent messed up is fine. Spending a few more years recovering is fine. Shitty, yes, but fine. Jimmy: It’s the idea that it’s over, and all you got to look forward to is being a cripple in pain forever that pisses you off, and which you don’t want to accept. Jimmy: Am I wrong? Jimmy: Because if that’s the case, then yeah, fuck that. I wouldn’t accept that shit either, and being pissed off sounds like approximately the right reaction. Jimmy: It’s not time to accept that which hasn’t been determined.
> Okay, I think this is the important piece. This is the piece of truth that he could sense but hadn’t integrated which would have been lost “just accepting” the pain and feeling okay without doing something with the message. This is why he pushed back, rather than “just” treating pain like any other information. To him, the pain seemed to be saying “Your life is over. You’re a cripple now”, so if he says “okay”, then it’s “Okay, I’m a cripple”, an expectation of being a cripple, and therefore no ability to work towards not being a cripple. At least, not with his heart in it.
As someone who has struggled with accepting pain for exactly this reason, I feel really seen by this passage
This was very interesting to read. Thank you for writing up such a detailed example!
> Jimmy: Sounds like you’re not too happy with your new identity as “fat kid,” and are kinda pissed at life for pushing you to accept it. Jimmy: I’m gonna go out on a limb and predict that the reason you’re pissed and haven’t fully accepted it is that “accepting it” kinda feels like “accepting your fate.” Jimmy: You don’t want the rest of your life to be this way. The time you already spent messed up is fine. Spending a few more years recovering is fine. Shitty, yes, but fine. Jimmy: It’s the idea that it’s over, and all you got to look forward to is being a cripple in pain forever that pisses you off, and which you don’t want to accept. Jimmy: Am I wrong? Jimmy: Because if that’s the case, then yeah, fuck that. I wouldn’t accept that shit either, and being pissed off sounds like approximately the right reaction. Jimmy: It’s not time to accept that which hasn’t been determined.
> Okay, I think this is the important piece. This is the piece of truth that he could sense but hadn’t integrated which would have been lost “just accepting” the pain and feeling okay without doing something with the message. This is why he pushed back, rather than “just” treating pain like any other information. To him, the pain seemed to be saying “Your life is over. You’re a cripple now”, so if he says “okay”, then it’s “Okay, I’m a cripple”, an expectation of being a cripple, and therefore no ability to work towards not being a cripple. At least, not with his heart in it.
As someone who has struggled with accepting pain for exactly this reason, I feel really seen by this passage