If “beliefs” seem too opaque or undefined, I’d recommend just writing down everything you do with respect to the problem.
The simping was a clear example of that in my opinion—the nerd kept doing the same thing over and over; that was his entire interaction with the cheerleader. If he can recognize his behavioral pattern by observing what he consistently says/does, that gives him the opportunity to try something else.
This is a helpful framing. In fact, listing my actions – both the old unhelpful or insufficient ones and the new, corrective ones – revealed that I hadn’t put numbers on the latter: when and how often I need to take them. (In this case, they happen to be things I can schedule.) They are now in my calendar.
Thanks for bringing this up! I just added this line to the post to make things clearer for others:
Or if you’re unsure exactly what you believe, I’d recommend just writing down everything you do with respect to the problem. That’ll reveal what you believe about it.
This is day two of working on the issue with specific, scheduled interventions, and I’m already seeing some improvement. I have a calendar checkpoint at the one-week mark to assess how things are progressing.
Update at the first checkpoint – one week of scheduled interventions.
Sticking to the protocol has been easy. Soft (subjective) endpoints are looking quite positive. As for the hard endpoint, the last handful of (~daily) observations have been better than my average over time, but more measurements are needed.
If “beliefs” seem too opaque or undefined, I’d recommend just writing down everything you do with respect to the problem.
The simping was a clear example of that in my opinion—the nerd kept doing the same thing over and over; that was his entire interaction with the cheerleader. If he can recognize his behavioral pattern by observing what he consistently says/does, that gives him the opportunity to try something else.
This is a helpful framing. In fact, listing my actions – both the old unhelpful or insufficient ones and the new, corrective ones – revealed that I hadn’t put numbers on the latter: when and how often I need to take them. (In this case, they happen to be things I can schedule.) They are now in my calendar.
Thanks for bringing this up! I just added this line to the post to make things clearer for others:
Absolutely! And that looks like a good addition.
This is day two of working on the issue with specific, scheduled interventions, and I’m already seeing some improvement. I have a calendar checkpoint at the one-week mark to assess how things are progressing.
Update at the first checkpoint – one week of scheduled interventions.
Sticking to the protocol has been easy. Soft (subjective) endpoints are looking quite positive. As for the hard endpoint, the last handful of (~daily) observations have been better than my average over time, but more measurements are needed.
I’ll check back again at the two-week mark.