do a 10minute analysis of what you present in your first impression, try to get an understanding of what you pass on when you give that impression.
Consider:
the way you dress (clothes; shoes, carry a bag? a copy of RAZ?)
the way you look (ripped and muscular? Blob? tall/short?
the way you smell (seriously; maybe have a shower and also get a nice smelling product to wear—some people like that)
do you feel comfortable (sweaty, socially afraid, shy, grumpy)
do you like you?
what makes an awesome first impression? Can you do some of those things?
who makes a good first impression? What do they do?
Consider also; the willingness to change these things makes you the kind of person who tries to please people. Choosing to not please people would make you a different personality person who cared less about first impressions.
Did this help? (feel free to share your results if you want to talk via PM or here) (that goes for anyone not just the OP)
Edit: the things listed here are the low-hanging ones. There is an advanced course of methods fur further improvement; but try these first.
You say this as if it’s supposed to score style points with people. Most would probably think you’re a paid salesman for the authors. If you value the advice within this much, maybe you should just read it until you’re familiar with most main points, rather than carry it around.
Edit: Also, people are pants at borrowing other people’s standards for interpersonal evaluation. Seeing yourself on a camera improves things, but only somewhat; if you have a socially unacceptable aspect of yourself that’s at the same time ego-syntonic, then by the gods that aspect is going to stay with you and hinder you.
RAZ is a free book. and was a joking way to describe, “consider what subcultures you subscribe to when you naturally walk around”
I would suggest carrying a book as a good way to start an easy-conversation with someone who thinks you are the kind of person who reads books. easy filter for easy conversation.
Superficially good looks and good manners, perhaps.
Advice: make sure the impression continues well after your first few hours/days with the person. I seem to have a 0% retention rate for friends. At some point after our first encounter, all seem to decide there’s something off about me. Perhaps my mistakes include: using our newfound trust to reveal some true oddities (people seem to distinguish between normal quirks and odd quirks, as strange as that may be, and I ain’t even very far into “odd quirk” territory), and not having a proper understanding of how relationships progress – therefore, keeping in touch either too much or not at all.
People who are able to reliably create good first impressions when you meet people for the first time, how do you do it? What would you advise?
do a 10minute analysis of what you present in your first impression, try to get an understanding of what you pass on when you give that impression.
Consider:
the way you dress (clothes; shoes, carry a bag? a copy of RAZ?)
the way you look (ripped and muscular? Blob? tall/short?
the way you smell (seriously; maybe have a shower and also get a nice smelling product to wear—some people like that)
do you feel comfortable (sweaty, socially afraid, shy, grumpy)
do you like you?
what makes an awesome first impression? Can you do some of those things?
who makes a good first impression? What do they do?
Consider also; the willingness to change these things makes you the kind of person who tries to please people. Choosing to not please people would make you a different personality person who cared less about first impressions.
Did this help? (feel free to share your results if you want to talk via PM or here) (that goes for anyone not just the OP)
Edit: the things listed here are the low-hanging ones. There is an advanced course of methods fur further improvement; but try these first.
You say this as if it’s supposed to score style points with people. Most would probably think you’re a paid salesman for the authors. If you value the advice within this much, maybe you should just read it until you’re familiar with most main points, rather than carry it around.
Edit: Also, people are pants at borrowing other people’s standards for interpersonal evaluation. Seeing yourself on a camera improves things, but only somewhat; if you have a socially unacceptable aspect of yourself that’s at the same time ego-syntonic, then by the gods that aspect is going to stay with you and hinder you.
RAZ is a free book. and was a joking way to describe, “consider what subcultures you subscribe to when you naturally walk around”
I would suggest carrying a book as a good way to start an easy-conversation with someone who thinks you are the kind of person who reads books. easy filter for easy conversation.
What is RAZ?
Presumably, Rationality: From AI to Zombies, the book version of the Sequences.
shorthand for the book yes. Sorry, new jargon…
Good thing you clarified this, I was getting ready to dust off my copy of The Morality of Freedom.
Ah, I see. Can we call the adherents razzies, then? :-D
Superficially good looks and good manners, perhaps.
Advice: make sure the impression continues well after your first few hours/days with the person. I seem to have a 0% retention rate for friends. At some point after our first encounter, all seem to decide there’s something off about me. Perhaps my mistakes include: using our newfound trust to reveal some true oddities (people seem to distinguish between normal quirks and odd quirks, as strange as that may be, and I ain’t even very far into “odd quirk” territory), and not having a proper understanding of how relationships progress – therefore, keeping in touch either too much or not at all.