Dating is complicated, and I’m no expert, but some ideas:
1. Using less-than-optimal-but-still-good pictures feels like maybe an unconscious balance involving countersignalling (“I don’t need the best possible picture just to get a match”), a desire to make a good first impression (“Wow, you look even better than your picture!” is a better place to start than the opposite, especially since your date is someone who wanted to meet you even when they’d seen only said picture(s)), and a desire to find someone who will be a good match longer term (“will they still like me when I’m at my worst, or older, or just right now? See also the Rita Hayworth quote, “They go to bed with Gilda; they wake up with me”). I wonder if this is systematically much different on more hookup-oriented vs. relationship-oriented apps and sites?
2. Maximizing matches isn’t the goal, finding the right matches in an enormous pool is. Putanumonit did a great piece on this ( https://putanumonit.com/2016/02/03/015-dating_1/ ), maybe some portion of that kind of advice caught on more generally?
3. Norms favoring explicit optimization are squicky in our society. Not just in dating, but in lots of places. See Robin Hanson, http://www.overcomingbias.com/2019/05/simplerules.html for non-dating examples. People want things like plausible deniability, and the need to not constantly optimize everything (Who wants to live their whole life, or relationship, with that kind of pressure? Who can sustain it indefinitely?) and may value partners who feel similarly. In practice this might also be a good way to avoid controlling, demanding jerks on the one hand, and higher-maintenance-than-you-prefer individuals on the other.
Dating is complicated, and I’m no expert, but some ideas:
1. Using less-than-optimal-but-still-good pictures feels like maybe an unconscious balance involving countersignalling (“I don’t need the best possible picture just to get a match”), a desire to make a good first impression (“Wow, you look even better than your picture!” is a better place to start than the opposite, especially since your date is someone who wanted to meet you even when they’d seen only said picture(s)), and a desire to find someone who will be a good match longer term (“will they still like me when I’m at my worst, or older, or just right now? See also the Rita Hayworth quote, “They go to bed with Gilda; they wake up with me”). I wonder if this is systematically much different on more hookup-oriented vs. relationship-oriented apps and sites?
2. Maximizing matches isn’t the goal, finding the right matches in an enormous pool is. Putanumonit did a great piece on this ( https://putanumonit.com/2016/02/03/015-dating_1/ ), maybe some portion of that kind of advice caught on more generally?
3. Norms favoring explicit optimization are squicky in our society. Not just in dating, but in lots of places. See Robin Hanson, http://www.overcomingbias.com/2019/05/simplerules.html for non-dating examples. People want things like plausible deniability, and the need to not constantly optimize everything (Who wants to live their whole life, or relationship, with that kind of pressure? Who can sustain it indefinitely?) and may value partners who feel similarly. In practice this might also be a good way to avoid controlling, demanding jerks on the one hand, and higher-maintenance-than-you-prefer individuals on the other.