Happy to help. Knowing where you are at is part of improving. The paragraph looks much better now. Some more touch-ups:
I started tracking myself after being warned by my primary care doctor about the fact that my sugar level and blood pressure is too high and that I needed to lose weight.
I missed it before, but “blood pressure is too high” conflicts with “needed to lose weight.” For a story set in the past it should be “was too high”.
These piece of advice are unhelpful, as they are not actionable
Should be “pieces” since it is plural in this context.
Happy to help. Knowing where you are at is part of improving. The paragraph looks much better now. Some more touch-ups:
I missed it before, but “blood pressure is too high” conflicts with “needed to lose weight.” For a story set in the past it should be “was too high”.
Should be “pieces” since it is plural in this context.