Generally, I’m careful to not hurt people’s feelings. Some of it is conflict aversion, some of it is a suspicion that I wouldn’t be very good at it due to lack of practice, and a lot of it is a belief that I hate being hurt that way and I don’t want to do that to other people.
Occasionally, that last has just gone away for no apparent reason. This leaves me thinking that this sort of empathy has a physiological basis, and also makes me a less inclined to judge people harshly for not handling things the way I do. If it takes a physiological basis that not everyone has, then it isn’t reasonable to blame people for not achieving it. This doesn’t stop me from nudging and arguing.
However, when the empathy goes off-line for me, the only thing that causes me to maintain courtesy is regard for my reputation as a reasonable person.
Generally, I’m careful to not hurt people’s feelings. Some of it is conflict aversion, some of it is a suspicion that I wouldn’t be very good at it due to lack of practice, and a lot of it is a belief that I hate being hurt that way and I don’t want to do that to other people.
Occasionally, that last has just gone away for no apparent reason. This leaves me thinking that this sort of empathy has a physiological basis, and also makes me a less inclined to judge people harshly for not handling things the way I do. If it takes a physiological basis that not everyone has, then it isn’t reasonable to blame people for not achieving it. This doesn’t stop me from nudging and arguing.
However, when the empathy goes off-line for me, the only thing that causes me to maintain courtesy is regard for my reputation as a reasonable person.