Thanks Duncan, I really appreciate you posting this, even though you are unsure about how exactly it all fits together. I am still glad to read it in this version, likely because you are quite clear about it, and not “leaving it as an exercise for the reader” to figure out where things do fit together and where they don’t (or worse, trying to make it more profound).
All of these might be stating obvious to some of you, but I am trying to clarify my thoughts and maybe some people will find it useful or correct me. At least part of this relates to (by me endorsed) aphorism (?) of “everyone is a mess”, or less controversially, “everyone is struggling”. Something something hedonic treadmill / adaptation—people will somehow struggle the same regardless of the bubble size, then adapt to what they were used to before by overcoming the main challenges (and learning how to deal with them) and then also “reprioritize” costs. I would definitely self-report that happening during my life. I do think this realization is important in a way I relate to others, including e.g. my daughter—the things she struggles with might seem trivial to me, but are not trivial to her—on contrary, they probably feel to her about the same magnitude as my “bigger” problems look to me. Same for everyone, everywhere.
Almost like I had some capacity of how much I can deal with stuff, and I always fill in this capacity with the things around me (my bubble?). Something like doing busy work if you don’t choose what to let into your to-do list. Or something closer to “I can always do 10 things, and their size doesn’t matter” (bear with me, I know this is not true and I do indeed sometimes work on a single project because it’s eating all of my capacity). If I let “bigger things” into it, I will be dealing with bigger things, while also just leaving some stuff behind me or “go wrong” in a way I wouldn’t allow in the N-1 bubble (something like not dealing with every single fuckup in my work, starting to take Uber instead of public transport etc).
It doesn’t hold entirely, I have clearly seen people who just couldn’t deal with e.g. a promotion (because it was too much for them at the given time), or, similarly, people who said they want to do more / be more ambitious but can’t for some objective reasons (like a physical disease).
Thanks Duncan, I really appreciate you posting this, even though you are unsure about how exactly it all fits together. I am still glad to read it in this version, likely because you are quite clear about it, and not “leaving it as an exercise for the reader” to figure out where things do fit together and where they don’t (or worse, trying to make it more profound).
All of these might be stating obvious to some of you, but I am trying to clarify my thoughts and maybe some people will find it useful or correct me. At least part of this relates to (by me endorsed) aphorism (?) of “everyone is a mess”, or less controversially, “everyone is struggling”. Something something hedonic treadmill / adaptation—people will somehow struggle the same regardless of the bubble size, then adapt to what they were used to before by overcoming the main challenges (and learning how to deal with them) and then also “reprioritize” costs. I would definitely self-report that happening during my life. I do think this realization is important in a way I relate to others, including e.g. my daughter—the things she struggles with might seem trivial to me, but are not trivial to her—on contrary, they probably feel to her about the same magnitude as my “bigger” problems look to me. Same for everyone, everywhere.
Almost like I had some capacity of how much I can deal with stuff, and I always fill in this capacity with the things around me (my bubble?). Something like doing busy work if you don’t choose what to let into your to-do list. Or something closer to “I can always do 10 things, and their size doesn’t matter” (bear with me, I know this is not true and I do indeed sometimes work on a single project because it’s eating all of my capacity). If I let “bigger things” into it, I will be dealing with bigger things, while also just leaving some stuff behind me or “go wrong” in a way I wouldn’t allow in the N-1 bubble (something like not dealing with every single fuckup in my work, starting to take Uber instead of public transport etc).
It doesn’t hold entirely, I have clearly seen people who just couldn’t deal with e.g. a promotion (because it was too much for them at the given time), or, similarly, people who said they want to do more / be more ambitious but can’t for some objective reasons (like a physical disease).
Dunno.