Harsh, but this does have two HuffPo-like traits: first, he uses his opening line to make a point that’s grossly misleading, and repackages his generic pitch for EA as something relevant to an upcoming holiday. “Hey, you know what’s the most romantic thing to do? Turns out that it’s the same thing we recommend doing all the time. What a coincidence!”
Second, his factoids about the psychology of generosity are as misleading as HuffPo-tier science reporting. Generally speaking, the psych/neuropsych studies I’ve read don’t really support the conclusions that EAs seem to want them to, including those studies that they cite as evidence. Specifically speaking, in this case, the studies don’t seem to indicate that charitable giving is special, broadly or vis-a-vis the activity that this post is contrasting them with. I.e., neither of the articles provide evidence that giving to charity has a particular advantage in making people feel good over other forms of generous behavior, including the conventional Valentine’s Day one of giving something nice and romantic to someone you love. Indeed, most of the research I’ve seen on the subject indicates that a wide range of actions taken on behalf of others produce neurological rewards.
I’d find it very strange if actions toward other people you didn’t know produced greater psychological rewards than those you knew and loved, and I’ve yet to see any evidence that it’s true. Anecdotally, it seems vastly more likely that the opposite is true: that if you’re trying to maximize your own happiness, being generous to the people you love is the best way to push this psychological button.
Regarding your first point, which do you suppose is more likely: that love is a bad idea, or that having a very reductionist viewpoint is a bad idea?
Regarding the second, a lot of things are like “the brain chemicals involved in love.” (The article only discusses low serotonin levels.) This doesn’t provide a basis for thinking love is a bad thing.
Regarding permanence, “is lifelong commitment to a single person a good idea” is a different question from “is love a good idea?” Since you’ve asked, though, I think I disagree with the mechanics you describe. The benefit of a lifelong love isn’t strictly limited to the loved one as an object, or the traits inhering to the loved one, but the interaction between you. This grows over time, while other interactions that you aren’t having are likewise not growing.