My mind is more muddled than what it used to be so I cannot at this time pin point exactly what these negative feelings are. After concentrating a while on my abdomen a painful wave grips my attention and physically throws me off my meditation posture. It’s usually a general feeling of loss without an object. I call it despair. It also comes with an unpleasant bodily sensation that I don’t know a name for. The whole thing makes it impossible to sit straight or focus on anything but the emotional or the bodily pain. For those who have little experience in meditation I should point out that it actually isn’t as bad as I make it sound. I have developed a certain degree of personal distance and all these negative feelings are actually quite interesting when I experience them as mental objects instead of identifying with myself in pain. Sometimes however this distance drops to zero and then it gets really unpleasant. My concentration is still a mess but I’ll try to find out the exact qualities of these experiences.
At the moment of writing this I’m 5 hours in to the practice. The vibrations I’ve picked up so far have been physical twitching of the abdomen, an in and out fading of the sensation of the abdomen, the abdomen themselves phasing in and out of existence and finally my attention itself setting and resetting itself. None of these experiences are very clear so I might be making them up.
Now this is a clear program with well defined goals and a clear roadmap to that goal. I’ll definately be trying this out! I practiced a different kind of buddhist meditation a few years back. Unfortunately I quit right in the middle of stage three depressions. That sucked a lot and still sucks right to this day. Don’t do that. I have no idea what you’re talking about with these vibrations, though. The practice I did had a different focus. At the time of writing I’m only 45 minutes in but I’m already getting waves of negative feelings while trying to concentrate on my breathing in despair. I just hope I’ll have a better resolve this time around to get over the bad stuff as quickly as possible...