Some responses seem to be saying that a better tactic would be to train social confidence by performing smaller more manageable actions/ goals rather than aiming for insanely high goals in a very short time span. For example if you create with a graded heirarchy of situations/ actions which induce social anxiety, then you can start by performing the actions that you have rated the lowest, and once you feel comfortable with those actions, work your way up.
This is the approach I’ve been using so far. For me the method has been working ok, but the main problem I’ve found with it is that it takes a hell of a lot of time to work through the graded heirarchy to the items towards the top of the list. This is why I’m considering the idea of just starting with the insane goals. If you can do the hardest goals straight of, then it seems that you don’t need to waste time with the easier goals. The hardest goals will take a lot more motivation though, and this is where the huge commitment contracts come in.
I’m pretty confident that after doing stuff like that for say, a whole week, I would have enough social confidence for almost all normal purposes, and social confidence would no longer be a problem in my life.
Why do you believe this is true?
Good question. The reading that I’ve done around this is mostly limited to basic books on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I can’t site many specifics, but from what I’ve read so far the idea that if you force yourself into a situation, and keep yourself in that situation until your anxiety level diminishes by around half, then the next time that you are faced with the situation it will cause you less social anxiety. So far this correlates with my experience for situations that cause low or medium levels of anxiety, but I haven’t actually tried it for situations which cause huge amounts of anxiety.
Some comments have recommended seeing a professional. Really, for me this is more of a self improvement project rather than me trying to tackle an anxiety disorder. My social confidence I think is probably if anything above average, but It is still something to have more of. Professional help in a project like this would probably be useful, but my understanding is that professional help is expensive.
Hi, I first found this a while back site after googling something like “how to not procrastinate” and finding one of Eliezer’s articles. I’ve been slowly working may way through the sequences ever since, and i think they are significantly changing my life.
I’m very interested in self improvement/ instrumental rationality type stuff. I’ve been using this summer to experiment with various projects: learning mediation, learning about different types of therapy to systematically overcome fears, learning about biases and some other stuff.. I’m currently messing around with a productivity/ organisation system whereby I allocate point to myself for good behaviours and deduct points for bad behaviours, and either give myself a reward or pay a penalty as part of a commitment contract depending on how many points I’ve scored (sometimes my self-improvement ideas get a bit obsessive..)
I’ve just finished secondary education, which was a mess, and so i’m now quite excited to have more control over my own learning. I’ve been very interested in rationality since I was young, and have been passionate about philosophy because of this. Though, after getting into this site i’ve been reading some pretty damaging criticisms of the study of philosophy (at least traditional philosophy and the content that seems to be taught in most universities), and now i’m beginning to question whether i’m really interested in philosophy, and if it is valuable to study, or whether what i’m really after is something more like cognitive science.
This leads me to a problem: I’ve been offered a place at Oxford University for a course of Philosophy and Psychology and I’m considering trying to change to just study psychology or psychology and linguistics. I’m in the process of familiarizing myself with the basics of all of these fields, and i’m writing letters to my old philosophy teachers with this articlehttp://www.paulgraham.com/philosophy.html attached to see how well the criticism can be answered. My problem is though that i’m at best a knowledgeable amateur in these subjects, and i’m finding it hard to make a decision about which subjects to study—I don’t know what I haven’t studied yet so I don’t know how important it is for me to know. Any advice on this or generally how to make the decision would be much appreciated, especially if you are familiar with the UK univeristy system, especially if you have studied philosophy. My overall aim for my education is pretty well expressed by parts of less wrong—i want to become more rational, in both my beliefs and my actions (although i find the parts of less wrong about epistemology, self-improvement and anti-akrasia more relevant to this than the parts about AI, maths and physics).
Also, i found solved questions repository, but is there a standard place for problems which people need help solving—as if it exists it may be a better place for parts of this post...? Cheers