Personally, I think controversy is more interesting than not. The internet keeps proving this over and over again. So if you want to attract more females, KEEP TALKING ABOUT THEM.
Getting offended is one way to get started on a rationalist path because it evokes an emotion. It evokes an inner-conflict. Which can result to greater self-understanding. Offending people is fine. Since it reflects more badly on the offensive person than on the offended person. It might even reflect badly on this community as a whole, but hey, if it gets people to start thinking, what’s so bad? If it gets women to understand something about themselves? What’s so bad?
However I would try to balance it out by ALSO examining men in such a way. There’s a lot of literature on PUA, and it is actively discussed here. Why not just find proven methods for attracting men and discuss them also? In a rationalist fashion, of course. If it offends the men on the site, then… all the better. Men need a wake-up call, too.
It might be considerate to realize that females do have a legitimate reason for why they are more salient to their own sex and issues regarding gender. More so than males. This is because society treats male-ness as the norm versus female-ness, which is treated as special. As a result, many females become VERY AWARE of the fact they are female, have female genitalia, are treated “differently” because of their sex. Perhaps a lot of this awareness is in fact, subconscious. But none-the-less, this results in a stronger identification with their own gender. Whereas males have less problem disassociating with their own genitalia.
Becoming a good rationalist is a journey one takes, not something one “is” or “isn’t”. It is insulting to simply say “you’re not a good rationalist if...” and then hold everyone to these standards.
I’m not saying your end-goal isn’t correct, but the way to attract people to a site like this is not to BEGIN by assuming everyone is a “good rationalist” but that more people start out as “bad rationalists” and attracting them might take different approaches than what is rationally optimal or acceptable to current members.