There is a certain kind of person who has a very cynical model of other people’s minds and also acts on it. Upon some thought, I’ve realized that I find interacting with such people most exhausting, and these people are almost automatically dropped off my list of people I want to stay in touch with.
The best example that comes to mind is the director at the firm I recently did an internship at. It was a small firm, and he used to manage the day-to-day operations, but he spent most of his time just policing us. He would call me into his office if he spotted me sitting with my legs crossed, email or scold us if we took longer lunch breaks, and call us back if we left 10 minutes early on a Saturday. I also heard him complaining about the co-working space providing extendable chairs, since it made the employees too comfortable. He was also very insistent on keeping all the lights on at all times, even when all the employees complained that the white lights were too bright. I also heard him scolding an employee for taking a route that was supposed to be faster but with less oversight, even though this employee had been directed to help finish a lagging project as soon as possible.
This person genuinely believes that all his employees are somehow trying to rob him or just waste the company’s money, and that they won’t work at all if he stops being this rude and vigilant, while ignoring the fact that he’s obviously making everyone less productive (for example, by keeping harsh lights on all the time).
There was also a co-intern of mine who once mentioned to another colleague that most people at our college are selfish. I immediately responded, “No, how can you believe that?” to which he replied that, in his view, most students at IITM are selfish. I was baffled by the response, but I realized that in light of this statement, all his other behaviors were perfectly explained. (He was generally rude to others and acted as if the other person was trying to take something from him, be it his time, insights, etc.)
My grandmother also has a similarly cynical model of other people’s minds, and when I think about it, I guess this is why no one in the village likes her.
I wonder if others have similar or different reasons for finding certain people absurdly off-putting or dislikeable, apart from obvious ones like shouting at waiters for no reason, etc.
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the grammar in this post is somewhat polished by Claude. see the original draft in the chat, here: https://claude.ai/share/a5d533d5-a2be-4269-bae1-ab1020694f04
Hey, this is very interesting. I think I’ll start doing it very soon. Thanks.