This is the first Less Wrong post which I have read and really deeply agreed with. I haven’t done much teaching, but I am used to teaching those who I am on equal footing with, my fellow students. Teaching people who don’t have background knowledge, who might not feel comfortable saying ‘I don’t understand’ is really hard.
From my inept experience learning to dance I can say it makes it much easier when the teacher recognises that it is hard for you, although easy for them. That little piece of recognition, even without the ability to modify your teaching style, makes learning easier.
I have also had the experience you relate, but from the opposite side. I volunteer as a peer counselor. From time to time our training involves practicing with other volunteers. One of us pretends to be the client and we practice our skills. I love doing it and I had no idea that half the volunteers hate it.
I wouldn’t actually link it to introversion/extroversion. I am shy, especially in groups where I am unfamiliar with the appropriate way to behave. Even when I feel like I am participating often I find that I am not, such as in seminars. I need to know most of the people in order to speak. But if I’m given a role to play that goes away. As soon as I know how to make sense of my role in the group I can interact. That’s why I love simulation, because I don’t have to be me. I can pretend to be a certain kind of person, the kind of person who would be function well in this situation.
I would say playing is the best thing you can do. Play with ideas, ways of behaving, etc. Improvise. Join a free style dance like swing without a regimented set of moves.