This is probably what I’ve been struggling with the most during my life. I’m starting to feel like I’m close to reaching a balance in overcoming it though.
Early on my primary goal in life was being Good. Along with a bunch of other traits, I deemed status seeking and signalling as Evil and strove never to do it.
That… is hard to do and of course I didn’t succeed fully. What I did manage was becoming terribly passive and self-effacing, I second-guessed any activity I engaged in even as I was doing it and abandoned anything I recognized as being signalling or status increasing unless I could come up with a convincing reason why it was objectively good. In the last few years I have reconsidered somewhat. I still have a gut instinct against it but I slowly changed my personality to accept and then embrace it since I recognized that would make me a better person.
I guess this is adding to the other comments that, yes, status and signalling is a mind killer and the first step is to notice and acknowledge that you are participating in it. The second step isn’t to surpress it though, but to shape it and use it to fit who you want to be.
I still hate bragging*, so to balance the positive signaling I just did I’ll add in that another, less idealistic part of my passive behavior was and probably still is the anti motto “If you don’t try, no one can judge your goals or blame you for failing”.
This is probably what I’ve been struggling with the most during my life. I’m starting to feel like I’m close to reaching a balance in overcoming it though.
Early on my primary goal in life was being Good. Along with a bunch of other traits, I deemed status seeking and signalling as Evil and strove never to do it.
That… is hard to do and of course I didn’t succeed fully. What I did manage was becoming terribly passive and self-effacing, I second-guessed any activity I engaged in even as I was doing it and abandoned anything I recognized as being signalling or status increasing unless I could come up with a convincing reason why it was objectively good. In the last few years I have reconsidered somewhat. I still have a gut instinct against it but I slowly changed my personality to accept and then embrace it since I recognized that would make me a better person.
I guess this is adding to the other comments that, yes, status and signalling is a mind killer and the first step is to notice and acknowledge that you are participating in it. The second step isn’t to surpress it though, but to shape it and use it to fit who you want to be.
I still hate bragging*, so to balance the positive signaling I just did I’ll add in that another, less idealistic part of my passive behavior was and probably still is the anti motto “If you don’t try, no one can judge your goals or blame you for failing”.
*and hate that saying so is itself bragging** :)
**recursively