If you don’t want to be tied up indefinitely, your strategy needs to include some way of ending the conversation even when the other guy doesn’t cooperate.
I agree and I think all these strategies have that:
Stick to the object level → “We are going in circles, goodbye”. This is “meta” in that it is a conversation about the conversation, but it matches Zach’s description of the strategy: it does not address the speaker’s angle in raising distractions, and sticks to the object level that the distractions have no merit as arguments.
Full-contact psychoanalysis → “I see that you don’t want to be pinned down, and probably resolving this contradiction today would be too damaging to your self image. I have now sufficiently demonstrated my intellectual dominance over you to those around us, and I am leaving to find a more emotionally fulfilling conversation with someone more conventionally attractive”. Maybe someone who thinks this is a good strategy can give better words here. But yes, you sure can exit conversations while speculating about the inner motivations of the person you are speaking too.
Assume good faith → “You seem very distractible today, let’s continue this tomorrow. Have a great evening!”. This isn’t much of a stretch. Sometimes people are tired, or stressed, or are running low on their stimulant of choice, and then they’re hard to keep focused on a topic, and it’s best to give up and try again later. Possibly opening with a different conversational strategy.
I agree and I think all these strategies have that:
Stick to the object level → “We are going in circles, goodbye”. This is “meta” in that it is a conversation about the conversation, but it matches Zach’s description of the strategy: it does not address the speaker’s angle in raising distractions, and sticks to the object level that the distractions have no merit as arguments.
Full-contact psychoanalysis → “I see that you don’t want to be pinned down, and probably resolving this contradiction today would be too damaging to your self image. I have now sufficiently demonstrated my intellectual dominance over you to those around us, and I am leaving to find a more emotionally fulfilling conversation with someone more conventionally attractive”. Maybe someone who thinks this is a good strategy can give better words here. But yes, you sure can exit conversations while speculating about the inner motivations of the person you are speaking too.
Assume good faith → “You seem very distractible today, let’s continue this tomorrow. Have a great evening!”. This isn’t much of a stretch. Sometimes people are tired, or stressed, or are running low on their stimulant of choice, and then they’re hard to keep focused on a topic, and it’s best to give up and try again later. Possibly opening with a different conversational strategy.
My concern isn’t “what words do you say when you leave”, it’s “how do you decide when to leave”.