I see at least two ways in which it isn’t a lemon market for everyone/every circumstance:
1. If you value compatibility a lot and seek a long-term relationship, you’re wasting your own time if you try to cover up things that some people might consider to be flaws or dealbreakers. 2: Some people are temperamentally quite sensitive to rejection, and rejection hurts more the more someone gets close to the real you. To protect against the pain from rejection at a later point, some people are deliberately very open about their flaws right out of the gate.
Doing a lot of 2. can be sign that someone isn’t ready for a relationship (as it almost exclusively turns off potential partners), but I think it’s possible for people who are temperamentally tempted to self-sabotage that way to transform it into a strength. Combined with developing self-confidence about one’s good qualities, an awareness of (and openness about) one’s weaknesses can seem quite appealing.
You might say “but then you’re indirectly signalling positive qualities again (“awareness of flaws; the confidence to admit flaws”), so this is still about presenting oneself in the best light possible.” Hm, sort of, but if you’re actually admitting to things that some people will consider to be dealbreakers, you’re opening yourself up to the luck of draw (“will she/he consider it a dealbreaker or not?”), so in the instances where you get lucky and she/he is okay with it or finds it endearing, you actually sent a credible signal! (I.e., you partly overcame the dynamics/incentives that make it difficult in early-stage dating to update much on quality and compatibility.)
I see at least two ways in which it isn’t a lemon market for everyone/every circumstance:
1. If you value compatibility a lot and seek a long-term relationship, you’re wasting your own time if you try to cover up things that some people might consider to be flaws or dealbreakers.
2: Some people are temperamentally quite sensitive to rejection, and rejection hurts more the more someone gets close to the real you. To protect against the pain from rejection at a later point, some people are deliberately very open about their flaws right out of the gate.
Doing a lot of 2. can be sign that someone isn’t ready for a relationship (as it almost exclusively turns off potential partners), but I think it’s possible for people who are temperamentally tempted to self-sabotage that way to transform it into a strength. Combined with developing self-confidence about one’s good qualities, an awareness of (and openness about) one’s weaknesses can seem quite appealing.
You might say “but then you’re indirectly signalling positive qualities again (“awareness of flaws; the confidence to admit flaws”), so this is still about presenting oneself in the best light possible.” Hm, sort of, but if you’re actually admitting to things that some people will consider to be dealbreakers, you’re opening yourself up to the luck of draw (“will she/he consider it a dealbreaker or not?”), so in the instances where you get lucky and she/he is okay with it or finds it endearing, you actually sent a credible signal! (I.e., you partly overcame the dynamics/incentives that make it difficult in early-stage dating to update much on quality and compatibility.)