Counter-anecdote. I am a hetero man and have been using OkCupid since July 2012. I have had almost 40 first dates, about 5 second dates, and 2 relationships from it in that time.
Both the median and mean age difference of the women who have gone out with me has been about 7 years younger than me, with the youngest 15 years younger and the oldest 1 year older than me. Comparison between genders is hard, especially from the inside, but I’m confident that at least a few of these women would be rated as more attractive than I am. While most of them probably weren’t as high IQ as I am, screening out people of totally incompatible intellect ahead of time is pretty easy.
I’m told that I’m lucky in that I’ve never run into anyone really crazy or unpleasant, but of ~40 first dates, only 2 have been really awkward, and none scarily so.
(Admitted other-optimizing warning: I am already in my mid-30s, possibly autism-adjacent but not actually autistic, and although my face is nothing special, I am in exceptionally good shape. On the other hand, that’s partly to compensate for being a single father, so it probably balances out somewhat. I’m also on the US east coast, which has a more favorable gender balance in the population at large than, in particular, the Bay area, where many rationalists seem to congregate..)
I wasn’t offering an anecdote. My personal experience on online dating wasn’t bad. It was actually quite good. However, I do agree it depends strongly on geographical area.
Counter-anecdote. I am a hetero man and have been using OkCupid since July 2012. I have had almost 40 first dates, about 5 second dates, and 2 relationships from it in that time.
Both the median and mean age difference of the women who have gone out with me has been about 7 years younger than me, with the youngest 15 years younger and the oldest 1 year older than me. Comparison between genders is hard, especially from the inside, but I’m confident that at least a few of these women would be rated as more attractive than I am. While most of them probably weren’t as high IQ as I am, screening out people of totally incompatible intellect ahead of time is pretty easy.
I’m told that I’m lucky in that I’ve never run into anyone really crazy or unpleasant, but of ~40 first dates, only 2 have been really awkward, and none scarily so.
(Admitted other-optimizing warning: I am already in my mid-30s, possibly autism-adjacent but not actually autistic, and although my face is nothing special, I am in exceptionally good shape. On the other hand, that’s partly to compensate for being a single father, so it probably balances out somewhat. I’m also on the US east coast, which has a more favorable gender balance in the population at large than, in particular, the Bay area, where many rationalists seem to congregate..)
I wasn’t offering an anecdote. My personal experience on online dating wasn’t bad. It was actually quite good. However, I do agree it depends strongly on geographical area.